Chequers won 3-2 today against Chalton, with Francios scoring his first 2 goals for the club since signing full time in the summer. Number one keeper John Roulier was unavailable through injury. Rumours around the terrace are that the incident leading to the injury of his thumb involved a stripper, a midget and retired piercing artist. But that sort of nonsense will make no such appearance here. The debate in the changing room became heated when Sgambati refused to play in goal when asked. Centre back Bishop stepped forward to take the jersey and he may have been holding a grudge when he injured Sgambati near the end of the first half. This resulted in Enzo having to come off to seek medical attention. Club legend Stu Rolls was also missing and is currently MIA in Syria following his hippy missionary group setting out for the troubled country weeks ago. It is believed he has been sold into the sex trade after being mistaken for being of the opposite sex.
Chequers kicked off and were relatively slow to start getting frustrated with the referee’s soft decisions that kept pilling up against them. This culminated in a dubious free kick being awarded outside the area and Tracy being awarded a yellow card for disagreeing with the decision. The following free kick was floated in and safely taken in by keeper Bishop. Suddenly a freak wind or something took the ball out of Bishops hand and into the path of an oncoming Chalton player. Chalton took an undeserved 1-0 lead. Chequers passing game was much improved today and they lack of quality in the final field was the only difference in the first half. Hinton had a goal disallowed for offside midway into the half; reply’s showed that he was onside. Suddenly Rob Mardell’s work in midfield and a beautiful pass through to Onyon looked like a certain equalizer. Onyon took the ball into his stride and before he could add the finsihing touch the Chalton player knocked it into his own goal 1-1. HT. Chequers finished the half with 10 men as Enzo was being treated.
Chequers battled on in the second half and Francois came on for the injured player. Also with Rob Mardell making the sacrifice of covering centre half which he did very well. Midway through the half Onyon brought the ball down in the centre circle and majestically strode past the Chalton midfielder before doing the Onyon turn back past him on the edge of the area and knocking in past the Chalton left back as well. This world famous Onyon turn is rumoured to making an appearance in the next oxford dictionary. The ball was then released to Hinton who chipped the ball over the defenders for Francois to slide the ball past the oncoming keeper for his first Chequers goal. 2-1. No to long later Hinton himself bombed down the line with the ball using great skill, putting it again through for Francois. The keeper gathered the ball but spilled it and Francois placed the ball into the corner of the net past the Chalton defender on the line. The Chalton defenders effort to save the ball on the line was an attempt similar to that something John Terry would do, however he looked more like a beached whale struggling to get back to the sea. This goal felt as though it was enough to seal the victory but Chalton fought back and got a late consolation goal. Towler thought he had scored a long range strike when Chalton keeper had dropped the ball past the line however with no goal line technology the referee was unable to confirm this. Towler after the game was livid stating in a modern Sunday league goal line technology should be a given. Towler later asked what the word technology meant. The game was all but over when the decisions again started to go against Chequers. A controversial free kick was awarded on the edge of Chequers area. The Chalton player stepped up with a great free kick low and in the corner but Bishop superbly tipped it onto the post. Another hard fought victory and well deserved from the determined team.
The Onyon Turn: When asked in relation to this move Jon Onyon was quoted as saying the ghost of Mat Le Tissier came to him in a dream and revealed the magical move. When interviewer pointed out that Mat Le Tissier was in fact alive Onyon replied. “He lives on Guernsey doesn’t he? That’s as good as being dead isnt it?”.