West Kirby U14 Athena 0 vs 4 Gravesberie Football Club

Back-to-back wins — apparently we’re allergic to doing things the easy way. At this point I’m convinced some of you think football is a puzzle game where the objective is “take as many touches as humanly possible before passing”. Midfielders sat so deep they were practically in the car park. Missed chances galore. And at one point the girls made our lads look like they were auditioning for Swan Lake. Turning your back on a tap-in should be a criminal offence. Take the punch in the face — it’s character building. Positives though: James B was on the left wing like he’d been shot out of a cannon — three assists and probably could’ve had six. Rex — two goals while treating the offside flag like a fashion accessory. Junior bossed midfield. George Dowd went into defence and looked like he’d been waiting his whole life for someone to ask. T Lett unleashed on the right like a caffeinated squirrel..

Last two games have been scrappy. Next one better not be or I’m bringing a whistle, a cattle prod and my therapy dog.