Forget The Exorcist. Forget The Shining. Forget IT. Forget the Halloween movie series. But today in a small green field in Edinburgh, a new 2022 Horror blockbuster was nearly filmed. Thanks to the rain, Spielberg Veo decided to not to film this epic, edge of your seat, tear jerking, vomit-inducing horror show.
Based on a merge of a few classics, the title for this masterpiece was scripted to be “Nightmare on St Marks Park” with the evil and scary Jason reprising his role. This time, it wasn’t Jason from Friday the 13th, but Jason Howie of Craigroyston that dealt the savage, blood-curdling blows to Newburgh and the screams of terror from the sidelines from those of a Black & White persuasion.
The warning signs were there from the very first minute when a Craigroyston goal was disallowed for a push in the box, but that should have been enough for Newburgh to be reaching for their garlic necklaces to repel the evil spirits of their hosts.
In all seriousness, it was as horror show for Newburgh from virtually start to finish and their opponents were worthy winners as they grew in confidence as the visitors were leaping towards Christmas and were preferring to hand out more gifts than the big bearded fellow in December!
The opening goal came in the 11th minute when slack defending allowed Jason Voorhees, I mean, Howie too much time to cut inside and get a shot away which skidded along the greasy surface and beat Chalmers, who would feel he could have done better with.
Newburgh were allowing Craigroyston far too much space, and this showed for the second goal as the home full back had all the time and space he needed to cross on a plate for Jack to volley home an excellent finish from the edge of the area.
Burgh were forced into a change on 24th minute when keeper Chalmers succumbed to an ankle injury that was aggravated in the first goal and Mark Robertson returned between the sticks.
Jamie Gay had the Burgh’s first serious chance of the game in the 27th minute when he beat a tackle and charged forward to unleash a long-range strike from 25 yards which cannoned off the post, whilst Struan Grieve had a chance blocked from a corner.
Craigroyston made it 3-0 on 39 minutes when Howie netted his second with a low shot beneath a crowd of bodies into the net after another cross from the right.
A treble half-time change failed to stem the flow and after a narrow miss for Hill, Howie completed his hat-trick in the 52nd minute when he was quickest to a loose ball on the edge of the area to fire home.
Credit to Cai Macdonald who was still trying hard and he nearly got his reward with a shot blocked after a good lay off from Perrie in the 56th minute.
Howie’s fourth goal was his easiest as he tapped home after Craigroyston sub Buckle had all the time in the world on the right hand side to lay an easy finish for Howie for 5-0.
Macdonald had another effort tipped over for a corner in the 59th minute and sub Ronan Hall had an effort excellently saved at point-blank range after a good cut back by Luis O’Rourke.
Craigroyston were still pushing for more goals and Robertson was being kept busy saving from Uwandu twice, while Perrie was unlucky with a good effort on the volley. But the final goal came in the 89th minute when Smith crashed home number 6.
A very disappointing performance and result for Newburgh, but hopefully a wake up call. Well done and best wishes to Craigroyston for the rest of the season.