Home league match played on 27 November 2017.
Kicked off at 8:10 PM

I will start with an apology. This isn’t a match report by Hartrick. It won’t have his zest. Or a hazy recollection of what may or may not have happened. It won’t be romanticised. It will be no doubt match action heavy – that’s what I do!

It will have plenty of superlatives though… so let’s get going!

What. A. Fucking. Game!

Facing opposition half our ages – that is no exaggeration – and brimming with confidence with the added potential of staking a solid claim for the title, The Revs came up against SAPA – Teens with attitude eh! Sounds like an American reality TV show right there!

Last week The Revs put in a display against the then league leaders that showed true grit and determination and this week they would have to show the same.

Early doors it was batten down the hatches boys, we are in for a bumpy ride! SAPA came at The Revs like a constant, rhythmic toothache. Niggling away, always there, always aware. The old boys of The Revs had a task keeping up with these youngsters.

Now I will sound like a grumpy old man, but the youngsters of today really have no respect and they are certainly not gracious in victory or defeat. So when they took the lead within 3 minutes you would be forgiven for thinking it was all over already.

And it could have been as they piled more pressure on crashing shots off the post, but were also faced with a team that wanted to defend and a keeper who is, quite frankly, the best in this league bar none.

And then The Revs young manager for the night – me – made some tactical decisions that changed the course of the game. Seeing that The Revs were not making an impact further up the field he gave Beardall a rest early on and brought on Davey P…

What a sublime choice that was as instantly Davey P was making an impact latching on to a through ball from Tyman and calmly slotting on the inside of the keeper to level things up. I fully expect the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Coach of the Year shortlist to contain my name!

That goal gave The Revs belief that they could get forward, that they could damage the opposition. That belief crept round the team and suddenly The Revs began to play some sublime football.

Lewis went from not been able to trap a football and being left flat footed to suddenly the best winger in the world, turning defenders, bringing balls out of the air and racing away from players whipping in dangerous crosses. Hartrick was doing his best to hold the ball up and bring others into play whilst trying not to get the shit kicked out of him. Tyman was at his rampaging best, showing the opposition that respect needs to be earnt, much to the frustration of the opposition. Beardall was whipping in those sweet dangerous balls into the danger areas and Phil and Jamie at the back were mopping everything up!

Speaking of which, this partnership worked extremely well. Phil is the ugly side of defending, hounding and harassing, whilst Jamie is the finesse, line up the attacker, nick the ball, play out from the back. Lovely to watch. The whole game was to be fair.

However, the star man was Mr Myers. Some of the saves he pulled off were sheer brilliance. One particular save, diving one way, but flicking out a strong hand the other way, was Matrix-style shit! Torchy’s, the other title contenders, were packed in watching this game with great interest. Cheering on The Revs every touch which seemed to spur the lads on.

And then typically just before the break the opposition get lucky and a long range effort from their arrogant number 10 found the bottom corner.

Half time… The lads were breathing out their arses, they were in a game, and they knew they were still in it. The belief was still there.

The Revs came out the blocks looking for a second equaliser. Hartrick turned his man but his finish was over the bar. Pressure grew on the opposition as they were penned in for large parts. And should they break the entire team tracked back to snuff out danger.

During one such break The Revs got back into position quickly. Davey P rose like a salmon to head the danger away and Tyman sniffed a chance. However the two opposition players were more interested in sticking a shoulder in on Tyman and in doing so missed the ball completely. Tyman headed it down and raced into the open space. And boy did he do well with two youngsters snapping at his heels he controlled the ball, ran 20 yards with it, drew the keeper and finished with aplomb!

2-2 you little shits! 2-2!! And now they began to get frustrated giving away petty free kicks and starting to moan to the ref, claiming every dead ball going. Again, it was a joy to watch!

They lay siege to The Revs goal but Myers stood firm ably assisted by his defence. Bodies were thrown at the ball, mainly Phil’s to be honest, and The Revs had more blocks than downtown New York! The post was hit on a few more occasions and the sense that The Revs could nick this was growing.

And nick it The Revs almost did when Lew drove a ball into the box for Davey P to connect with – but it was more ball playing the body than the body playing the ball and the keeper managed to gobble up the loose ball.

Time was ebbing away for the opposition and Tyman and Jamie booted the ball up field on every occasion turning the opposition who were running out of ideas and steam.

They turned into The Revs near the end. Just hoofing the ball into the box with the hope that someone, anyone, will latch onto it. Thieving bastards stealing our tactics!

The ref put SAPA out of their misery and their one week at the summit was over as quickly as it started. GOOD! Some of them are a horrible bunch who cannot take been old manned!!

And no one knows how to old man a team better than The Revs! This was old school, sunshine… and we’re the fucking headmasters!

Revolutions FC: Crushing dreams since 2002!

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