Stokes Friendly – 5-0 (On The Pitch… But We Still Won)
⚽ Result
SNIFFIN BUT KICKIN 0
Stokes 5
🏆 Competition
DIV 4
Home league match
📅 When
Monday, 20 July 2026
📍 Venue
Margate FC (Home)
Lads,
What a weird one. We turned up for the friendly against Stokes and got absolutely pumped 5-0 on the pitch. Fair play to them, they were decent.
However — because the other mob had already dropped out earlier, the league has gifted us the official 5-0 win and 2 points anyway. So in the table… we’re laughing. Result is a W. We love a bit of administrative robbery.
Player Ratings
• Hayden – Man of the Match. Our only shining light. Absolute hero in goal, pulling off saves while the rest of us were having a nightmare. Top drawer performance.
• Everyone else – Genuinely shocking. Proper Sunday league stuff.
Key Talking Points
• Toby – Mate, you’ve got to stop crashing out. Sort your head.
• Team Shape – We were all over the place. Everyone needs to stay in their positions. It’s not rocket science.
• Edwin – Pass the ball more, lad. We only want you taking 3-5 touches max unless you’re clean through on goal. No more hogging it like it’s your last bit of bag.
Despite the horror show on the grass, we’ll take the 5-0 win and 2 points all day long. Sometimes you get the result even when you don’t deserve it. Classic Sniffing But Kickin’ behaviour.
Next game we actually try though, yeah?
Final Score (Official): Sniffing But Kickin’ 5 - 0 Stokes
On-pitch reality: 0-5 (we’ll never speak of it again)