Note to reader: Welcome all to the first trial of the new match report game "Where's Match Report Wally". He's in the report somewhere…..
Well, I hear you cry, what happened the other week when Abberley Vale played the White Horse? I wish I knew because I can't remember. It was a long time ago and someone lost the match report.
I made a few enquiries and I think some people are winding me up. Apparently there was no ref for the first 15 minutes but then he turned up and came on later. The game was begun by a round of paper, scissors, stone which the captain won and, even more ridiculous than all the others, Mick was supposed to have scored twice. I mean, come on!
So with that, where do we start? Pick the truth out of that.
So I reckon it was something like this:
It was a beautiful sunny day, no rain in the air or a single cloud in the sky. We thought the game may have been cancelled due to the ground being too dry.
Captain Marvel started the game with a winning round "paper wraps stone". They kicked off, but the Vale soon got into the groove. Quick passes from Dan to Mick to Pete to Gerry to Wally to Laan to Savo and then he hits the post. Oooohhh.
After all that great work, though, they scored.
1-0
Not to be disheartened, the Vale soon got back in the groove. After some stallion-like work down the left from Gooogeroo, who played through to Laan, the cross came over to Mick in his new-found position "Centre Six-yard-Boxer". The smelly one closed his eyes, held his breath and bugger me it went in.
1-1
So on we go. 10 minutes and one goal later, Laan noticed that one of their players was being referred to by his team mates as "Paedo". Laan was obviously very interested to swap notes with a fellow, but suddenly the ball broke to him. The child-friendly striker put it through to Savo who dribbled the ball for 33 minutes to the by-line. He crossed and who's in the middle to put it home? Oh Christ! It can’t be. Mick!!?? Lucky git, we'll never hear the last.
1-2
Half time
Now I really can't remember what happened, but after the Vale being on top for 67 minutes of the second half, they got a lucky goal by some means or another. Also, while I've got nothing to talk about, Leon was playing! And he was great but despite all our compliments he probably won't play again.
2-2
So the Vale needed to respond straight from the centre. And they did. Savo to Laan. Laan to Dan. Dan with a great ball to Googerooo. Googey lofted the cross to the guy who started the whole move, Savo, Goal.
Simple really!
2-3
Then they scored with a few minutes to go.
3-3
so a little blip in the Vales rampant form, but the next league game is against the Sutton Arms where this reporter predicts a 7-1 drubbing.
The Tickler
Did you spot Wally?
