Fishermen catch a Gator
The Ayton Alligators were indeed caught in a deadly trap at the end of the rod by their Fishermen counterparts, as the Cod Heads came to town and smashed them for nine.
Former semi pro legend Mr Swales notched 4 and lifted his Whitby Fishermen outfit up to top spot, a place they are surely set to stay for the remainder of the campaign, baring a Munich style air disaster or a bout of aids within the camp.
After 3 defeats on the bounce Pluminho drafted in first team pair Carl Sample and goal getting ace; Howard Carter, in a bid to halt the rot.
The Gators were hit early by the swift passing style of the Fishermen as they conceded after only 5 minutes on the clock. A well worked moved which was indeed practiced on the beaches of Whitby, cut through the Gator’s back line and opened the scoring to the crowds groans.
The Alligators camp had been rocked even before the game had begun as news broke of a rift and indeed a fight in the camp! The night before such a massive battle team mates Nicholas Cook and Jamie Colin Tyler came to blows in the Casino car park over an argument regarding last weeks defeat to the Grasshoppers. An inside source close to the pair said “They just got angrier and angrier as Tyler told him he was a ginger ferret”. The source added “Cook couldn’t stand it and called him a dirty chav, and it all kicked off like a scene from popular games console fav Mortal Combat.” “Cook landed the first of a 3 hit combo as Tyler ripped open his shirt to battle his younger ginger Gator team mate. An onlooker from local pizzeria ‘No Animals cooked here’ said “I came across the pair grappling on the deck, Tyler had the ginger lad in the Walls of Jericho and from nowhere produced a step ladder and finished him with the frog splash, it was carnage”
The Ayton management are yet to comment on the story as Tyler took to the game sporting a black eye and Cook with his own injury; an old mans limp and Chinese burn scars on his left arm.
Back to the action and the Gators were struggling like Vanessa Feltz wearing a gastric band with a super size maccys as they slipped behind by two further goals, again by some scintillating play from the visitors.
The Gator’s were up for the battle none the less and were beginning to play some of the best soccer they have played all season, all be it from several points behind, but they were playing well. Carter and Wallace proved to be too Katie Price up top; More than a handful, and Wignall and Plumpton covered the grass in the centre of the park as they became the 11th central midfield partnership of the season.
A fourth goal sent the Gator’s in 4 Neil down at the break. The boys trudged in with a strange feeling of fulfilment in their stomachs. Pluminho gathered the troops in front of him as the Gators all sat legs crossed, arms folded in the changing rooms as he delivered the half time team talk. Hick, who found himself on the bench, began to dip his ginger nuts in to his half time tea….that’s the half time biscuits on offer not his naddleberries!!
It was agreed; a corner had been turned. Even at 4 Zip down the Gators were encouraged, buoyed by the fact they had played some tremendous soccer against a very very good side.
The Second half started like Craig Temple in the sack; fast paced, doing well and then suddenly it’s all over. For 10-15 minutes the crowd got behind their boys with chants of “We’re Gators til we die” from the Play Park End. The Gators had the visitors on the back foot when suddenly veteran blocker Rich Ellis had a moment of madness that sent the Fisherman forward through on goal. He did the rest with a smooth criminal of a finish that sent the gap to 5 goal pokes.
Again the Gator’s didn’t give up as Carter tested the keeper with a left foot swirler from distance.
On 61 Minutes Sample found himself on the end of the Gator’s best move of the match as Wignall picked out the buccaneering Left Back on the sprint. Sample was in, the goal at his mercy as he pulled back his left duke to hammer home only for the strike to be as effective as an Afgan tour guide as it scuffed and shinned a good 15 yards wide, to several of his team mates giggles.
On came the cavalry as Smart and Lovell replaced the ineffective and girly Topham and tiring Jamie Tyler on 63 mins.
Lovell was straight in to the action as he called megs on his opposite number, lost the ball and stood and watched as the Fishermen broke forward, not a care in the world for the balding Gator who was evidently blowing after only 5 minutes of action.
Wallace’s afternoon was then up as he was replaced by fellow teenager Thomas who took his place next to Carter in the Strike Zone.
Then came the worst injury of the season so far, as Holden tripped on the edge of his box, hurtling head and shoulders above a grasshopper and collapsed to a searing scream. Holden was motionless as he lay on the deck, the medical men attending to the burly defender with their Oxygen masks, heat spray and Vaseline, when suddenly a miracle occurred right here at Wilsons Lane. Holden was alive! He sat up, had a swig of smelling salts and stuck some Vaseline up his bot; he could carry on. Many Gators believe his scream and pain face to be indeed the same face that occurs during the latter stage of Holden’s horizontal no pants dance. Only his lover Heidi can answer that one….
The score became 6 and then 7 as more strikes flew passed Lewis. Lewis was then seen in tears in his goal mouth as the Gators kicked off as he muttered too himself “why, why the hell did I sign up for this!”
Dave Lovell finally made it to the attacking end of the pitch and found himself on the end of an 18 yard strike which hurtled wide, he should have done better.
Two more tries were scored to take the total to 9 as the Gators put away their PE equipment for another day. It may have finished as a crushing defeat but again the feeling of a corner being turned was evident to all. They had come up against a team far too good for this league AND still played their best football. Pluminho added “If the boys can play anywhere near that level in their upcoming battles, starting next week - home to the Ganton Grasshoppers, I am 100% sure of points coming our way”.
The John Hick Man of the Match award as sponsored by Wayne Rooneys Vice Girls LTD went to 1st team stalwart Howard Carter for a Snappy effort in attack strike position.
