At the third time of asking the all-weather surface at Matthew Arnold School was fit for its intended purpose of being a football pitch not a swimming pool with patches of artificial turf. The big game was on, FC Shepperton Versus Imperial College in the County Cup Semi Final. A crowd of 18 eagerly awaited the team news with manager Denneh Sultana being able to pick only eleven players from the biggest and most talented squad every assembled at FC Shepperton. There was an audible gasp of shock when the crowd heard that the old boy, last year’s golden boot winner, this year’s top goal scorer, last week’s captain and the fans favorite Ian Gascoigne had been dropped for the star January transfer signing, Joe. Other players who were cruelly unlucky to miss the biggest game of the season so far were the ever beautiful Brooksy and the old pro Gav. Denneh shared sympathies with the plight of Pellegrini at City.
Team selection wasn’t the only shock pre-game, blinded by the squad’s ability and being preoccupied in picking an attacking team capable of playing total football Denneh missed the fact that we didn’t have a goal keeper. What to do? Picking himself up off the floor after his omission from the team EB volunteered to mind the net. The team strolled out nervous at this development but prepared for battle.
The elements were extreme and FC Shepperton kicked off the first half with a gale force wind in their face. For the first twenty minutes we were pegged back but resolute defending as a team kept clear chances to a minimum. The old lad was performing admirably in goals coming to punch and clear several crosses whilst giving Deano et al at the back a raging headache with his constant shouting of advice. Slowly Shepperton got a foothold in the game. The dynamic midfield duo of Callum and Aaron started to boss matters, providing the ball to our fleet of foot wingers to attack with width and pace. Jake and Jim didn’t go up a hill but they were constantly getting round the back of the away teams defense, however, several chances came and went and the score remained nil each. On 35 minutes the visitors had their first real chance of the game and their pacey, strong centre forward raced through on goal. It looked like it would be the breakthrough as only the slightly rotund EB stood in the way of a one nil deficit. However, much to the amazement of all 18 nonpaying spectators the makeshift keeper won the battle of wits and the ball rebound off his outstretched leg to safety. It was a warning to Shepperton that despite being the better team anything can happen in Cup football.
With only a few minutes of the first half remaining Shepperton got the chance they needed to take a deserved lead. Some neat football through the midfield led to a perfect cross from Jake which found its target of Jim at the back post where a panicked defender was all over our Bross look-a-like teenager like an over keen DJ on a teenage girl at a 1990’s top of the pops after party. This was assault and everyone in unison shouted ‘Drop the Boy Drop the Boy’, the ref agreed blowing his whistle, so to speak, and giving Shepperton a spot kick. Our two normal penalty takers were either on the bench or in goal which really put the ‘cat amongst the pigeons’. EB ‘Streetwise’ and quick as a slow worm raced the length of the pitch to claim the kick before being politely asked by the ‘shocked’ team to get back in goal. Callum could be heard to singing ‘when will I be famous’ under his breath and with this sign it was decided he was to take the spot kick. He stepped up into the ‘chocolate box’ and calmly stroked home the penalty. This was ‘too much’ for the home support who were ‘madly in love’ with the score line. EB wasn’t happy having not taken the penalty and was rumored to have said ‘I quit’, Denneh was thinking ‘Don’t go leaving me now’ and Callum ‘Breaking My Silence’ was heard to say ‘I owe you nothing’. Rarely in football is anything ‘Black and White’ and it was definitely ‘a Jungle out there’ but the ‘changing faces’ of the fans made everyone realize it was a ‘Ten out of Ten’ first half performance.
The second half saw Shepperton pick up where the first half finished and were looking to increase their advantage. It duly came with a well-uted goal. The ever improving Jim broke free down the right wing and delivered a perfect low cross which was tucked away with aplomb by the quality player on the pitch, Aaron. A mini pitch invasion saw Stanley’s pram roll onto the pitch and play was held up for over 10 seconds before the pitch was cleared and the game restarted.
At two nil the game looked won. Joe and Harry were causing problems up top with their pace and guile, Steve Carter was reminiscent of the great Stuart Pearce over lapping down the left wing and combining beautifully with Jake. The back four were dealing easily with the attacking threat of the visitors and EB was seen to be having a chat with his Mrs and baby son on the side of the pitch whilst smoking a fat cigar. The biggest problem the centre half pair of Burkett and Deano all day had been in protecting their ears from the constant banter and commentary bellowing out of the keeper’s mouth. Only a real lack of concentration could let Imperial back in the game. Shepperton would never let that happen, surely? But they did.
A deep cross was delivered from a non-threatening free kick and the old boy, starting to think his future was now as a world class goalkeeper rather than a word class centre forward, dropped the ball onto his own head and the ball rolled to a startled Imperial player 2 yards out from goal and unmarked. He did his best to let the keeper off his mistake but his mishit shot rolled to another unmarked player and the ball was thumped into the back of the net. This might not be exactly how it happened but that old boy is also the author of this report and I was rolling around on the floor trying to pick my overweight frame up to remedy the situation. Unfortunately I was marooned like a beached whale and still had my back to play when I heard the screams of delight form the opposition’s players. 2-1 with 25 minutes to go, game on.
Much to their credit Imperial huffed and puffed in an attempt to find an equaliser. Baby Stan was so nervous that the two goal lead would be cancelled out that he filled his nappy. Smelling this Denneh knew it was trouble and went to a 3-5-2 formation showing that even the great Brian Clough has nothing on him when it comes to tactics. Gav came on in Midfield and Shepperton began to assert their class on the opponents, keeping the ball well and draining the new found belief of the away team.
The quality moment of the match finished the game with 10 minutes to go when the impressive Steve Carter showed Santi Corzolla what a genuinely two footed player really looks like. After a storming run down the left flank Steve cut in releasing a powerful bending right foot shot into the far corner of the net similar in quality to Norman Whiteside’s stunning winner for Man United Versus Everton in the 1985 FA Cup Final. What ensued can only be described as Bedlam.
At 3-1 the final 10 minutes were a procession and the fans relaxed. Butler made a few phone calls to interested Piano buyers, Ella and Laura swapped stories about makeup and clothes, and the gentleman who always turns up for cup games in the motorized wheel chair was seen doing wheelies and doughnuts presumably high on the fumes of Harry’s half time bifter. It was a sight to behold and when the final whistle blew EB, using sign language to the now deaf back four, signaled that the game was won and it marked a great moment in FC Shepperton’s glorious history.
