Saturday 8th March, it was a warm day for the time of year, girls were showing skin, families were in the park, smiles were on faces andd indeed it could be said summer madness had arrived early. It had certainly arrived for our esteemed leader Denneh. At this point it must and indeed it could be said summer madness had arrived early. It had certainly arrived for our esteemed leader Denneh. At this point it must be said that i've often wondered what goes through our fine managers mind, especially when on ketamine or running through the strip in Tenerife dressed in S&M gear, but more to the point I often wonder what is happening during more mundane moments in life. I thought I had him sussed but just when you think you know someone they do something to completely confuse you, leaving you to deride your lack of understanding in fellow humans. Today Denneh did just that making a decision so left field that, in his grave, it will leave the late Tony Benn turning, fuming it was not one of his ludicrous ideas. Denneh dropped Aaron, player of the year for the past five season, best player in the league Aaron, never lost a header Aaron, the inspirational Aaron, all round good egg Aaron, over ten goals from midfield Aaron, Sir Aaron. No 'definitely maybe' about this, madness was in the air.
The players were dazed and confused even the 'Tinkerman' Cladio Ranieri didn't drop bombshells like this. The first twenty minutes of the game were a blur to the away team, much like losing Churchill would have been to the Great British Public during WWII, the players were lost, confused, angry. How could they go on? To answer that they went on badly, losing a goal to the worst team in the league, a team with less resources than Poland in 1939. Not only had Denneh dropped Sir Aaron but he had dropped himself. A decision not always questioned but when it entails picking a completely new back four it raises issues. The defence of FC Shepperton were communicating like ex lovers going through a bitter divorce, slowly and at great expense. It should have cost more than one goal before Denneh came out of his K hole or whatever it was he was in and took the unlucky Alan off and replaced him with Sir Aaron. At this point the game changed, FC Shepperton were more awake than a crack head having his first wallop on the pipe for a few days. The young lad Joe was causing havoc, Callum was doing more running than Forrest Gump, James was skinning his marker more impressively than Bear Grylls would skin some poor unsuspecting animal when hungry and left for dead in the wilderness of our fantastic but complex world and the old lad up top was of course, moaning. The back four, realising the emotional and monetary expense of divorce, bonded and reignited a passion in their relationship which had been lost for the past 30 minutes. Then it came, the equaliser, so memorable I have no idea who got it. Maybe it is the bottle of wine I have drunk or maybe I don't remember goals others scored but it definitely happened and it was 1-1 at the break.
At half time Denneh told us we are the best team in the world, better than Barca even, we'd heard it all before and slowly drifted off. Maybe that was in part because the injured Harry was two yards from us and doing his best to create a Dutch oven in the fields of West Byfleet Recreational Ground with the biggest biffter I have seen since 'build a biffter day' at University. I certainly let my mind drift to another place before being rudely awoken by the Ref's whistle signalling the start of the second half. It started with Joe terrorising the the West Byfleet defence like a Jihadi in Whitchapel does to elderly folk of the Christian faith. When would the bomb explode? It didn't take long and soon FC Shepperton were 2-1 up, then it was 3-1, 4-1, 5-1, 6-1 when would it stop? It stopped at 7. The final score read West Byfleet Albion 1 - FC Shepperton 7. Despite the two bottles of wine I have drunk I clearly remember the old lad EB netting the all important 6th and 7th goals, taking his total to 15 for the year.
The move of the match was for Callum's goal. Some great passing between EB, Sir Aaron and Joe led to the ball being whipped in from the by line by young James and his elder skinnier, if possible, brother met it with a superb diving header. Sir Aaron obviously scored a couple before Denneh reverted to type by taking the old lad off as soon as he was on a hat trick.
Some words of praise must go to Joe for his tireless work and skill, to Sir Aaron for changing the game, to Callum for endless effort drive and ability, for James and his continued development and improvement, and most notably to Denneh for being so out there that he gave the oppo a 1-0 head start to ensure we turned it on. Bravo.
A word of apology from the old lad to everyone he moaned at for not passing. Age, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, stress and generally being a difficult guy to play with can be used as an excuse, he just wants everyone to improve and for the mighty FC Shepperton to keep marching on on on.
Anyone else I forgot to mention forgive me, it is the three bottles of wine.
What a run we have had over the past few months. The new lads and young lads have helped big time. To the old school we are the backbone. Keep it real
FC FC FC Shepperton, no one likes us we don't care.
