Home friendly match played on 15 May 2016.
Kicked off at 10:30 AM

Starting line up

Jordan deano Lawrie headmaster roma

Axe Gav big Scott Shegs

Lee Crabbie

Subs josh Rob

Ref Terry, a long haired twat from fuck knows where

The game started with stc immediately pressuring the oppo ' s penalty area. Shegs with an early near post shot, saved by the keeper for a corner. The oppo, who for once fielded a squad of vets were suprisingly quick footed and tried to play foot ball. Roberts appeared to be on fire and up for the game. He delivered a succession of pin point accurate balls into the box. One of which should have been buried by Shegs. The perfect ball met Shegs head but flew wide and over the bar. One of the oppo players (flash cunt missed a pen anyway) said that sheg had a head shaped liked a 50p.

Stc were on top. There were 2 noticeable glaring misses from Crabbie (no bobbles involved), 1 from Lee and 1 from axey. We deserved to be at least 3 up. Crabbie even tried his usual 30 yard punt and hit the bar. Our defense was solid and maybe a little over confident as a back pass to Jordan ended up in the ref awarding a penalty kick to the oppo.

Enter Jordans SPECIAL red bib. Before the kick was taken, Jordan put a red bib on over his keepers jersey. The striker hit the ball hard and low but wide of the goal. Jordan took off the red bib, put it in his bag and took the goal kick. FUCKING QUALITY.

Lee came off for Josh and rob came on for axey. Half time nil nil.

It was noted that the player who missed the penalty told Crabbie that he was going to take on 4 of our players, round the keeper and slot in the opener. He also suggested that he was gonna do Scott twice. Cheeky fucker , watch this space!

Stc started the second half in the same vain as the first, the ball was constantly in their half and in our possession. Pressure makes goals and before long the inevitable happened.... Josh shot from the left, rebounded back to Crabbie who shot, ball fell to sheg who shot, ball found itself at Crabbies feet, he made no mistake to to put stc 1 up. Shegs decided to wind up the oppo with over zealous celebrations in their face. The oppo made the mistake of dropping their best players in defence. They were no match for our attackers and midfield. Gavin was relentless in chasing down the ball and giving the oppo no time on ball. The entire back 4 solid, roma and josh doing their thing on the right, scott and rob first to everything in the middle. It was good to see.

The next goal was special, stc had time on the ball and enjoying playing football, a 10 pass move found that man Crabbie with back to goal on the edge of the box, his first touch flicked the ball up perfectly for him to volley the ball in off the post. 2 nil. The next incident as hard to believe. Lee was back on by now and delivered another quality ball to the far stick, Josh volleyed the ball along the goal line for the under pressure defender to kick in. 3 nil, but no, the long haired twat from fuck knows where disallowed the goal because he wasn't sure if it should stand ?????????????? Twat.

That decision seemed to spark stc into another gear. 3 minutes later Crabbie grabbed his hatrick, today's man of the match and this season's golden boot.

Remember the cheeky fucker who missed the penalty? Well, 10 minutes from time , he passed the ball back to his keeper from the edge of the box. The ball somehow wrong footed the keeper, and as it trickled towards the net, shegs could be heard screaming ' get in get in' at least half a dozen times. Proper wind up merchant.

Karma is a beautiful thing and the oppo got exactly what they deserved.

By the time the final whistle came, you could see the Millwall supporters in the team converging towards the dug out so they could hurry to catch the lower league play offs. It ended 4 nil.

Toby vets next week

Featured Match Reports

Are you looking for something ? Search the TeamStats directory...

Team management made easy

Football team organiser? TeamStats is the ultimate football coach app, providing powerful all-in-one software to grassroots football teams around the world.

Learn more
Used around the world by clubs and teams from:
  • The FA Logo - English Football Association
  • Northern Ireland FA Logo
  • Scottish FA logo
  • United States Soccer Logo
  • Welsh FA Logo
  • Eire Football Association Logo
  • Czech Republic Football Association Logo
  • Singapore Football Association Logo
  • Australia FFA logo - Football Federation Australia