PORTUGAL TOUR 3 vs 3 STC Sports

<p class="MsoNormal">So it all began on a chill Friday morning. 6 am meeting up in Gatwick South Weatherspoon&rsquo;s. Sounds simple you may think, but oh no, the Sheggs brother decide to have a beer outside an Roberts gets the terminals mixed up, leaving poor little Bilbo all alone on the bar. And that&rsquo;s how I found him, in a hole in the ground, not a nasty damp hole full of warms for this was a Hobbit hole, which means good food a warm hearth and.. oops sorry wrong story&hellip;.. <p class="MsoNormal">So the flights all arrive on time and we all bundle on the coach on our way to the 5* resort. Errrr, well it clearly needed some paint, the rooms some light and a tea towel and cloth would have been nice. But that was still to come, as Steve Dolby couldn&rsquo;t check in and apparently Steve has had a sex change and now goes by the name of Ana, not a good start. <p class="MsoNormal">But then came the beer. A long afternoon in Pingo&rsquo;s and the beach bar was followed up by a 5 course gourmet dinner in the hotel&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;&hellip; A quick shit, shower and shave, and we off to the old town, all thoughts of the early night forgotten, as was the football clearly. Whist this writers memory is slightly clouded, the following still grasps some recollection, Lee having a hissy fit at Shaun, (it was going to be another 2 the next day and so on and son on), THAT hairy monster, Dolphins, Scott losing the ability to speak and becoming a 1 worded buffoon, DRUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Mark falling off his stool and resembling a turtle when trying to get up, Hooky running off with the flashing glasses and Sheggs smashing bottles and celebrating like he had won the Grand Prix. <p class="MsoNormal">A good night, one we to pay for the next day. <p class="MsoNormal">Well so it was the day of the tournament and it was a scorcher. In a nutshell, the football was poor, we were poor, but hey, we are here for the beer not to dazzle a bunch of other 35+ year old men with our silky skills. 1 win, a draw and a loss with 2 goals for Lee and 1 for Josh. Enough said. Player of the tournament begrudgingly goes to Lee. <p class="MsoNormal">So to the presentation, and wow, how dull was that, food was awful, seriously cold chicken nuggets and a few crisps does not a TAPAS make. 800 free beers help, but seriously learn to chill them first. Ruins the whole thing. So the group split, half to Josh&rsquo;s bar and half remain to watch the Rugby. I was not going to mention the Rugby, but I cannot avoid doing so, given the event of the trip occurred during half time. <p class="MsoNormal">To set the scene, there is the ice bucket which we used to cool our beers at the bar, empty as all 800 are gone, there is Hooky standing at the bar outside and Bilbo Baggins, the mischievous, with a glint in his eye. Next was gold, well if you&rsquo;re not Hooky or anyone within 10 foot of him for the next 2 minutes. Bilbo tip toed up to Hooky placing a step ladder behind him, he then tip toed back to the bar (Hobbits are light footed if you did not know) he then managed to lift the ice bucket and climb the ladder with it, before up-ending the contents over a very surprised Hooky who for a second resembled a deer stuck in headlights. Hooky did not take this shock to the system to well to say the least, but Reggie Kray was on hand to calm the situation with a few home truths. So the rest of the match was watched warily by Bilbo who at the final whistle decided to run back to the others in record time to the tune of Benny Hill. <p class="MsoNormal">By now this writer&rsquo;s phone had recovered from its little trip through the Portuguese air courtesy of Hooky&rsquo;s wet, right hand and Bilbo had become a Facebook legend. Even though Bob was to live in fear for the following days and probably for the next few months it was worth it Bilbo in the writers opinion, even if you will go to bed each night hearing the words as foretold &lsquo;&rsquo;HOOKEYS GONNA GET YAAAAAA&rsquo;&rsquo; <p class="MsoNormal">So you would think this mini storey was over, but no, there&rsquo;s more. With Hooky changing the rest of the lads, courtesy of Omelette, put 2 and 2 together and came up with comic gold. Wet Wet Wet&rsquo;s Love is all around and from this day forth I dust thou pronounce, the STC and Hooky anthem as&hellip;. <p class="MsoNormal">&lsquo;&rsquo;I FEEL IT IN MY FINGERS, I FEEL IT IN MY TOES. BOB IS ALL AROUND YOU, HES EVERY WHERE YOU GO&rsquo;&rsquo; swiftly followed, by &lsquo;RUN BOBBY RUN, RUN &hellip;.. <p class="MsoNormal">So after a long day, most decided not to go to town with 2 likely and 1 surprising exception, but if you have no money or fags, DON&rsquo;T KNOCK ON EVERY ONE else&rsquo;s doors at 2am and 6am, especially when we were in 2037 and not 2036&hellip; dumb arses&hellip; <p class="MsoNormal">And so began Sunday, with the dirty stop outs recovering, the rest of us went for a lovely 3 mile stroll along the beach to the Marina. Thirsty work as Slim kept pointing out. That afternoon in the Marina was the highlight for this writer, good bars, good drink, and the walk back and sunset were simply awesome. I have to mention the day 3 argument, which involved Slim as WIP holder refusing to give an irate Sheggs money for their late night activities. Still why Sheggs decided to take his belt off and hit the table with it is beyond me, but he did later apologise, even it was only for the spilt beer, he4 clearly knows Slim well&hellip; <p class="MsoNormal">So the final night was spent in the pool bar, with most people thinking of home, but that still left time for Hooky to get his THING on the dancefloor, Shaun to share his drink with a 90 year old whose teeth fell into it, Shaun and Hooky to share a special moment in a slow one and Jordan to prove why he is a player of some description, just not on a football pitch. <p class="MsoNormal">A great trip , roll on next year, and a final message to Sheggs and Josh, if you wake us all up getting in, don&rsquo;t expect to be able to sleep on the coach and plane. <p>Well done to Lee for organising it all, next year we need commitments by Xmas. Photos of the trip are in the STC Portugal Gallery. <p class="MsoNormal">Footnote: <p class="MsoNormal">News from a local source has priovided some additional memories. The first is that Bilbo was missing from 6pm on the first night.... Draw your own conclusions. <p class="MsoNormal">Secondly, in Josh's bar the trumpeteer, Ana Cousins, gassing out the old couple behind him, standing for attentuion in delivery and yet still not causing enough offense for the old timer to proclaim that he was going to leave now and take 5 Viagras and ruin his old lady. priceless