Old Meadonians VII vs Old Suttonians IV D 3â€3 (Irish, Yorath, Sanchez)
Report by Lionel Scurville
On the back of a disappointing end to our AFA cup run, we now turned our collective attention back to the league.
Sitting on top of the table but with our closet rivals holding games in hand, this was a game that we could not afford to lose.
With the absence of Ring and Piper and due to the 8s not having a game, Elder (the younger and, may I add, the leaner) and
Sanchez were drafted in as replacements. So we set off to Sutton with a strong squad and a steely determination in our
hearts.
Just to avoid confusion, when I say we started off, it wasn't together as I was toying with the idea of a late cryâ€off due to
illness and as 'Lionel's Taxi Services' (motto: We'll pick Taylor and Piper up enâ€route as it's on the way) was not being called
upon this week I remembered that I was meeting Hudson 'I don't need a car' Rodgers at Isleworth Stn to shuttle him to the
game in the style he has been accustomed to of late. So dragging myself out of my sickâ€bed, picking up HR, we started off
slightly later than anticipated.
Arriving at Sutt's ground we found Superintendent Detective Commissioner Warren Chief Constable Allison of the Yard
kicking his heels or as he put it 'I canne get her to warp speed, Captain!' (sorry, wrong Scotsman) so we added another to
our lineâ€up.
The game kicked off with both teams having a great incentive to win: Us, to keep the momentum going for the title,
Suttonians, to avenge a 4â€3 defeat by our hands, their first this season. With our starting lineâ€up and Hudson, Allison and
myself on the bench I felt fairly confident but is was only when I noticed who the ref was that I had to say 'hmmm.......'. If I
wasn't mistaken it was the same one who last season in the same game sent off Phil 'I like to handle balls' Day, wouldn't
initially allow for treatment for Jamie Bamford's head injury (still MOM of the season award, mate!) and gave Time Lee a
yellow card after telling him he could reâ€join the game after going off to change his top but then saying he hadn't told him
he could do so despite twenty one witness hearing him tell Tim to do so!!!!!!!!! Captain's log: I can't remember if the Tim
thing was this Ref but I thought I would pin it on him so has to make more of the pantomine villian!
Both teams started brightly with some good early pressure from both sides but eventually Meads started to control the
game. New (temp) boys, Elder and Sanchez, showed composure rarely seen in full backs these days. Yes I am talking about
me and Piper †just an aside, Piper being compared to Robert Vaughn and Williams to Charles Bronson in the Magnificent 7?
Pleeeease! If both had been playing characters with a slight retardation and no ability to listen to their teamâ€mates then I
would found that a more realistic comparison! †Anyway! The CB pairing of Paul 'I know it's a quarterâ€final but I only had a
few beers last night' Taylor and Rob 'Fat Boy Slim' Williams were comfortably dealing with the Sutt's forwards and all four
were distributing the ball with style and finesse. In fact. all the team were elegant on the ball and playing some great ball on
the deck. Dave 'Are you sure he has 4 kids?! He only looks about 14!' Yorath, Jack 'like the spice' Cinamon, Liam 'the luck of
the' Irish and Jireh 'I don't say much' Mahoukou were outstanding in midâ€field with the strike pair of Omar ' I don't take
criticism too well' Maolin and Jermaine 'It's cold. That's why I'm wearing a jumper under my football shirt' Whyte were
causing Sutt's a lot of problems. In fact, Inspector Taggart remarked to me that ' You've got a hell of a team here' and I had
to agree. He then wandered off to, I assume, arrest someone.
So it was no surprise that Meads took the lead from some great team work with Irish finishing like a warrior but then
limping off like a girl complaining about his shin splints! This of course allowed Lionel 'Screaming Jay Hawkins' Scurville on
the field for a slightly longer than anticipated cameo on first the right and then left wing. Meads started to apply the
pressure and created some half decent (and if you had looked up a bit more Jermaine!) some clear chances that our
pressure should have been rewarded with. But eventually it did, when from a throwâ€in a la Scurville, Sanchez let it drop over
his shoulder, spun and hit on the volley to see it rocket in to the Sutt's net! 2â€nil and we were flying!
Second half (and with Hudson now on for Williams) more Meads pressure saw a third goal that came courtesy of Yorath.
Sutt's collectively head went down and Meads were definitely in total control of the game. Not that Jake had nothing to do
in goal as he pulled off some absolute quality saves showing why he should be playing higher! I had to come off as I started
to see double and on came Allison. By this time Williams and The Ref had been cultivating a rather torturous relationship as
I witnessed and as this exchange will illustrate:
Williams: Ref!! What's the time left??
Ref: Yes thank you! I have three watches!
Williams: What?! What's the time Ref?
Ref: Thank you!
Williams (under breath): Yer feckin' little bollox!
With the Ref now on our side (yes, I am being sarcastic) and we assumed with ten minutes left, I thought this was a 3
pointer for the VII's but football has a grand way of kicking you in the face when you lest expect it.
Sutt's are awarded a free kick when The Ref had deemed Jake to have handled ball outside the area. Total bollocks! He then
tells us that he will make them take the free kick from the whistle, giving us time to set a wall. positions etc. Sutts take an
early one and score and The Ref decides to award them the goal. Total effin' bollocks!
The last 5, 10 or 15 mins (depending on which of The Ref's three watches you were using) saw us concede a goal that saw
one of the Sutt's forwards push the ball into the goal with his arm (which of course Three watches didn't see) and a goal of
sheer brilliance (overhead scissor that would have graced any football pitch!). 3â€3. Eventually one of the three watches
catches up to realâ€time and The Ref blows for fulll time.
No need to go into a lot of post match analysis but only suffice to say that these were points dropped and I feel sorry for our
oppo's this week as we are going open a can of Whoopâ€Ass on them as we are mightily pissedâ€off!
Right lads?!
We need to get back on track and start burying teams. The title can be ours but we need to stop being complacent and put
games to bed by converting the chances when we have them.
MOM †Jireh. Absolutely outstanding and may be the new Taylor!
Quote of the Match: Allison responds to The Ref when The Ref asks if Jake's surname is his first name when booking him:
'That's borderline racist. Ref!'
