Oxhill Central FC Vs Tantobie Oak Tree (Cup) Blue Thunder Today’s game was home to Tantobie Oak Tree in the 1st leg of the semi final of the Harkness Trophy. It was our first game since Christmas and the new year and a lot had happened in this space of time. Dirty Dan has finally been declared fit after over a year on the sidelines, to celebrate this some of the lads went for a drink over the festive period, Dangerous Davies and Dirty Dan called on Elvis to come out and play but couldn’t answer the door because he had his hand stuck in a Pringles tub watching midsummer murders. Little Luke is back on the injury list after falling down the stairs dressed as Santa and hurting his foot during his first Christmas as a dad. Safety Davies finally drove his new car on Boxing Day, he said that the reason for this was the key for the car was in his vegetable advent calendar and was behind door number 25. We all met at the pitch and greeted each other with happy new year handshakes and cuddles. That was everyone apart from Liam Jägermiester who sat in his car and refused to talk to people while he listened to hard punk. Sheep then broke the news that Singe refused to talk to him at Starbucks this morning, Singe said he doesn’t even know where Starbucks is. PeeDog showed us he had learned some new dance moves which included moves called “paintings the walls” “change the lightbulbs” and “feeding the pigeons (taught by bezzy)”. Bott told us that Joe Gill is Brill purchased him a new pair of boots for the Hodgeson and Sayers Secret Santa, these were bright blue, size 12 and had go faster stripes on them. We have renamed Bott as Blue Thunder. The squad was less strained than previous weeks with Bonzo Brown making an appearance only because he is doing dry January and Liam Jägermiester returning (he was hugged because he was on the bench). Sensible Cap Josh and Little Luke we’re still on the injury list and Crabstick Coxy was still suspended. Out at the warm up Joe Gill is Brill realised he didn’t have a captains arm band, this is the 5th one he has lost this season, Veteran Gav said he thinks Joe signs them and frames them on his bedroom wall every time he scores a goal. The game finally kicked off and we couldn’t manage to break the deadlock in the early stages. Gateshead Scott from Ouston left the field with an injury and Kei pushed to his favourite position of Striker, 8 minutes later we were 3-0 up with a tidy Hat-Trick from Kei. 5 minutes later CatMeat finished to put the score 4-0 at half time. Sensible Cap Josh had filled the water bottles up with warm water much to the displeasure of The Monk. Crabstick Cox decided to be naughty and removed all of Veteran Gavs keys from his key rings, he then said Gav wouldn’t understand how to put them back on. The second half we never really got going, a scrappy half seen the game finish 6-2 with goals from Pigeon man Bezzy and a 4th from Kei. Veteran Gav went down injured and made a funny noise, Sensible Cap Josh was on hand with his recent arm first aid training to make sure Gav was fine. Amazingly, Big Ben from Tantobie only shouted offside 3 times all game, and Big Bens brother (also from Tantobie) said Big Ben shouldn’t be scared of singe. Back at The Arch, we found out Liam Jägermiester saved up his dinner money up in school to buy hair products and Joe Gill is Brill sat in the carpark in his van because he is not allowed in The Arch. Joe Gill is Brill also won the meat draw. Next week we are away to Witton Gilbert WMC in the North West Durham Cup. All the above stories are true. #UTA
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