Home league match played on 25 October 2023.
Kicked off at 8:20 PM

4-0 up and cruising against a Willian Ya Ma side that Pork has beaten comfortably on the last 4 occasions. In the end, Pork were desperately holding on for a draw and had it not been for 2 world class saves from Hamstring Gary in the last minute, pork would have lost

Blame for the catastrophic collapse could be shared equally, however there were some standout calamities and 2 players shoulder the entire responsibility for very different reasons

Hamstring Gary 7 - conceded 4 but still received MoM. Badly let down by his defenders, single handedly saved pork a point showing steely grit that has been absent for several weeks.

Ankle taggy 4 - didn't touch the ball in the 1st half as pork were dominat going forward. Didn't touch the ball in the 2nd half as defensive frailties emerged. Expected better game management from the wise head

Chicken George 4 - best game for a while as playercam spotlighted the chicken man. Pass completion 8 from 20 Dribbles completed 0 from 2 Shots on target 0 from 2 Times nutmegged 3 Tackles won 2 from 6 Corners kicked miles over everyone's head and out the other side 1 Well played CG

Jeeves 2 - the steady demise accelerated this evening. Not so much the onfield play, but the decision making off-field. With pork leading 4-3 with 2 mins to go, Jeeves brought himself on to shore-up the defence and hooked porks premier midfielder (steptoe in case you were wondering). 2 mins later the game was gone. If Jeeves hadn't provided the warm up ball, questions would surely be being asked bout his place in the squad

Steptoe 5 - looked good in a 2 man midfield, looked lost when his midfield partners inexplicably went AWOL. Scored one, made a couple, but will be remembered for losing a tackle to prancing Neil, which no-one has ever done before!

Prancing Neil 1 - it's important we support the prancer after his shambolic display and not single him out as the reason for 2 dropped points. Resorted to tackling his own players as he attempted to right the many wrongs. Once again looks a decent player with ball at feet, but a forward he ain't. Chance after chance was ballooned over, given straight to the keeper, flayed wide and even backheeled for a throwin. Let's hope this was a 1-off for the mercurial show pony

Maypole 6 - scored 3 as he continued his return to fitness, unlucky not to be on the winning side. Did give the ball away for the equaliser so must shoulder a large portion of blame, despite attempting to deflect blame to almost all of his teammates by pointing out their shortcomings

Back at the clubhouse, spirits were lifted with the addition of nachos to the standard chicken, chips and onion rings fayre

Talk of Pablo returning were given short shrift as it was established he used to reward the MoM of other teams he played for with free pizza

Chicken George and hamstring Gary are lovers of the legion - maybe it's a sparky thing

Farry bogg almost lost his most-nutmegged in a game trophy to CG, an accolade they now share

With 3 games remaining, pork are in danger of relegation and need to stop this slide. Players should be returning next week which, to be frank, can't happen soon enough given the last few performances

Onwards and stop the downwards


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