Kebab Kings felt confident entering the terrain de foot today, coming up against the local rivals who they already had beaten on three different occasions. The boys knew this would be a feisty game with Berocca Juniors harbouring a very gangly 'Jesus' whose fashion sense was simply disastrous. Kebab Kings managed to secure the loan signing of Will Stevens for the game due to a lack of numbers, with some of the players choosing to nibble on their father's meaty noshes instead of playing. However nonetheless the boys felt confident having watched so much euros, they were bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take the field. The boys were given a positive straight away with 'Jesus' no where to be seen, clearly his contract has been terminated (properly due to the earring he wore last time out).
Kebab Kings started strong dictating the play for the first 5 minutes, it was clear they were the better side. Davies managed to slip through the stiff Berocca Juniors defence, feeding a lovely pass to Frosty who unfortunately miss hit his shot, going wide. Kebab Kings were really starting to find their feet within the game, when Davies suddenly picked up the ball on the halfway line and managed to beat the first man and the second man and he even managed to get past the third man before tricking the goalkeeper and slotting home a beautiful solo goal at the near post. It was a simply unbelievable run, he has clearly been taking inspiration from Jesse Lingard and his goal against Wolves!
It was safe to say the Kebab Kings boys were shocked at the speed from Davies due to his normal habits within the house which has resulted in the nickname 'The Slug' however this goal was nothing short of pure skill. To add oil to the Berocca Juniors fire Davies won the ball back from the goal kick netting his second for the evening within the space of a minute! The first half ended 2-0 to Kebab Kings, however tension was starting to rise, with Berocca Juniors Lard Arse girl claiming Davies was touching her chest.
The second half started with Gentle the clubs top scorer entering the field. He had been suffering with a dodgy knee however was willing to fight through the pain for the club, beautiful commitment from the player it must be said. He started very strongly scoring quickly his 8th goal of the season.
However, during halftime Berocca Juniors had made a surprised change in the Goalkeeper, putting their Jelly Belly woman in Goal to see if she could have more of an impact in the game from GK, due to her woeful first half performance on the RW. C. Stevens spotted this early doors and decided to try his weekly long shot early into the second half however this week he managed to connect with pure power, the boys stood and watched in ore as the ball curled in the air everyone thought it was going to nestle in the top corner however the lard arse girl managed to get her fingers to it. His long shot goal will surely come at some point.
Gentle was having a field day up front having shot after shot before absolutely creaming one in the woman's face which clearly aggravated her. Gentle managed to secure his third Hat-Trick of the season taking his goal tally up to 10 for the season. What a season he is having! However just when the game was coming to a close C. Stevens crossed the ball from the Left hand side which happened to hit Berocca Juniors little dumpling girl, who started to claim we had all been aiming for her all game and we were purposely trying to hit her. Honesty what a MORON. The Berocca Juniors boys clearly felt quite emasculated due to their third thrashing in a row, started to get quite fiesty. This prompted C. Stevens the leather the ball as hard as he could out their chubby bunny Leicester defender, C. Stevens didn't think this through as he saw his eyes lit up with rage, which C. Stevens fled resulting in him looking like a pussy, however it didn't matter because the game was won and Kebab Kings once again put in a brilliant performance, thrashing Berocca Juniors once again.
It is safe to say WOMAN HAVE NO PLACE ON THE FOOTBALL PITCH.
It was a solid performance all around from the boys with a special mention to the Loanee W. Stevens who played a solid game at RB linking up very well with Lawrence who played very well as always in the centre of defence, he understood how to attack and defend at the perfect times, just what the Kebab Kings boys have been missing. The talk of a season long loan is on the cards.
Breaking News for next weeks game against Gapperoos, is that Alex Harvey will be playing outfield next week due to his very impressive performance in this weeks friendly game, the whole team is very excited and can't wait for another victory!