Home friendly match played on 04 June 2022.
Kicked off at 2:30 PM

A game against former professional players is always an exciting game as Ones states “unacheza na watu wanajua ball” as such you always expect a free-flowing game and lots of goals. I am still trying to remember the last time that Wazito bet PSC, it is so long ago it was before the world knew the flu by the name of COVID-19 would distort their lives. Ever since Wazito has been on the receiving end of the goals a critical meeting at Nairobi primary at the height of COVID-19 with super striker Yegotov first in his name claiming a killer brace and assist to mark his return to competitive football since his knee injury recovery. The follow-up match in Parklands was as entertaining ending in a 2-2 draw. The kick-off was marred with lots of confusion as Ralf Ragnick was yet to send the lineup with minutes to kick off. Moreover, Sisco who had been tasked with bringing the gloves was still enjoying his pre-game shot with cuzo, hence unable to cum as soon as he was expected, resulting in a domino effect, it meant that Babu had to start in post with nothing but his bare hands - savage style. Ragnick and Sisco were not the only players running late, as the team time keeping was called into question. At kick-off, only 10 players were available to start the match albeit the match had to experience a further 5 minutes delay as Kamdam tried to fit into his jersey which had grown too small for his "petit" frame. In the end, he had to walk in with a crop top of a jersey and could have easily been confused with a bimbo cat walking into the streets of Koinange. Trust me he would not have been denied entry into Alchemist if he was to walk into boogie. Right to the lineup: gloveless Babu in the post, Droopy captaining the team at right-back, and Gitau Mr. Consistent at left-back. Ballplayer defender wa kuaminika Kamdam took his natural van Dijk position, supported by the industrious Makelele who made up for Kamdam's lack of pace. Internationally acclaimed CDM signed from Arab money Ola Masoni had no competition starting proving that joining the cartel has its peaks. He was joined by the talented Chubar with Johnna Mtembezi playing ahead of them, at least he was warmed up after inhaling some hot air before the start of the game. Ericko was trusted to cause havoc with his crosses on the right while Doobiz spearheaded the attack from the left. Sensing the absence of Sisco, super striker aka the one-touch man aka Yego Drinkwater looked to capitalize in a team that he has managed to score every time he has faced them. Time was ripe and the game kicked off. The confusion and lack of cohesive warm-up were evident from the first minute with the players looking lethargic in their movement struggling with passes, pace, and control. To emphasize just how bad it was, Johnna Mtembezi was on the receiving end of a “chobo” by Wazito and all he could do was hold his head and say “sitarudi hapo tena”. Doobiz on the other hand did the most Doobiz thing in football, tear his shoes without touching the ball. After experiencing “singi” in attack Doobiz suffered a dress robe malfunction as he split his boots. Coach Mwai was left in awe as Doobiz ran out of the pitch to change his shoes yet he had not touched the ball. He returned a few minutes later with different boots and this time he was at hand to miss the game's first clear-cut chance. Chubar with the ball released him from the left with only the goalkeeper to beat, but Doobiz selected to take a step over allowing the center back to close in and nick the ball. But at least he was in the game. With PSC struggling to get into the game, Wazito maximized their positioning and wonderful touch to run rings around the team. They were creating the better chances with Babu proving that gloves are just aesthetics to give a goalkeeper confidence and he doesn’t need them to be brilliant at the post. However, it was PSC who got the edge, after Chubar did what has grown from brilliance to norm and now culture. The closest thing to watching Andres Lujan Iniesta live, a meticulous through ball that sliced the Wazito defense like a hot knife through butter, finding Yego Drinkwater with acres of space with only the goalkeeper to beat, Yego’s first touch was orgasmic, his second to lob the goalkeeper sheer brilliance before completing the move with a simple finish to the net. Someone call Leicester City I think we have found Jamie Vardy. Breathtaking simply breathtaking. Wazito responded, of course, they had to respond, as they rained attack after attack against PSC. The defense was being kept busy with Makelele and Droopy having to put out the fire in every instance. Kamdam was also pulling his weight literally, with his well-timed tackle preventing a goal. However, it required the efforts of Gitau and Makelele to get him up from the ground before the corner was taken. Even with the efforts, Wazito still had their break, it is usually a sing-song that the first line of defense starts with the attackers and none was more evident than Wazito’s goal. Doobiz missing from his defensive duties allowed the fullback to wipe in a cross-field through ball that caught out the Parklands defense in no man’s land. Droopy found himself chasing Odooh who had only the keeper to beat, Droopy did not hear Sergio Ramos's voice shouting kill him, kill him, and had a 3-D view as Odooh volleyed into the back of the net. 1-1. The first half was finalized by PSC forward line finding it difficult to connect passes, maybe an unfamiliarity of the players starting and Yego Drinkwater taking five water breaks. However, it was between one of the water breaks, that Yegotov channeled his inner Benzema, receiving a pass from Johnny, making a dummy that had the defender and the goalkeeper asking for sleeping bags, rounding the goalkeeper, before he was fouled to deny him the goal of the season. We were ready to pack our bags and leave the stadium. The referee must have been a bat because he refused the clear penalty. Every good thing has an end and so did the first half. Zlatan was at hand to provide the halftime team talk as the team chased for a win in the second half. Five minutes into the second half the changes were rung in, Jonathan in for Erico, Rasco in for Doobiz, and former Delle to current Son Mutua in for Droopy. Increasing the width of play seemed to be the tactic in the games the team looked to take advantage of the old legs. However, Rasco's first play was a cynical foul that earned him the first yellow of the game. Ten minutes later, Yego Drinkwater was replaced by a Nigerian Wonder kid who had been promised royal treatment if he performed. Ben 10 also replaced, defender wa kukimbia akitembea who left with a clean sheet aka no penalty given and no own goal. The changes had a significant impact as PSC took control of the game, as Wazito looked to just be hanging in there. The only thing that was missing was a striker, and how lucky was it that Sisco had just arrived, better late than never, as long as the coming does not result in 9 months of hard labor. Sisco was in for Johnny who had not been the same since the “chobo” and Waire for center disappearing midfielder – CDM Masoni as Mutua was pushed into midfield. The impact was immediate with Sisco combining well with Chubar to unleash a ravishing shot wide. Sisco immediately turned provider setting up Ogochee whose unexpected dribbling style caught the defenders off. His hand acting like the clutch of a manual car, he would twist his hands confusing the defenders before hammering the ball to the back of the net. With his sponsor in the trenches watching him play, Ogochee was ending careers in the middle of the field with the young man not taking to account that Wazito players have families; young children, and wives whom some were watching the game. The only way to stop Bagman was to foul him but even that he would have already humiliated you. However, it was Sisco who made it 3-1, the marksman doing what he does best – shake the net. Receiving the ball from Rasco, he turned in perfection and his snapshot to the back of the net had the goalkeeper spectating like the rest of us. I am not sure what Sisco’s diet was growing up, manage, yams, sorghum, banana, madondo, mokimo, cuzos?? Whatever it is should be earmarked in CBC and be put as the staple food for Kenyan children. Wajackoya the 5th when you speak about legalizing bhang please remember to put Sisco’s diet up there. Sisco then turned provider, setting up Rasco whose left leg never fails him, you know what he is going to do and yet you can do nothing about it. Turning the defender in and out and slotting that ball to the back of the net. Zlatan was thrown into the mix and almost registered a goal with his first touch. Sisco kindly set him up, with Zlatan's trademark out-boot just skiing above the post. However, it was Waire who pulled off the surprise of the evening, known for his tackling rather than goal prowess, the defender magnificently bet off the offside trap, surprising even himself, and bearing only on the goalkeeper unleashed a thunderous out boot that only missed the goal by whiskers. Trust me he was ready for another six-month football sabbatical. However, the next round of goals fell to Wazito as they took advantage of PSC's complacency to plant two quick goals. With the game at 4-3, the defense had to step up, to prevent a comeback, Ben 10 proving crucial at fullback as Makelele and Gitau stood strong despite significant pressure. Sisco always the man to steal the show, had the last say in the game releasing both Jonathan and Rasco who had only the keeper to beat. It was a choice between who wanted to score as Jonathan left Rasco to do his magic, beating the goalkeeper to walk the ball into the net killing off the game. Happy with the outcome, the team finished the game 5-3 at full time. It an enjoyable did not record any injuries and had some beautiful gameplay. A happy Ogochee was seen enjoy the back left of a german machine as his sponsor decided to reward his performance with a trip to Roysambu to visit a few Yahoo boys from his country. On to the next game and a first win for the month.

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