Wolfgang Gunther smeared himself in his own excrement today in what the Business School's Club Doctor Paul 'Muzza' Murray has diagnosed as SCATOLIA!!. This tends to occur in individuals with a history of obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, ADD, autism or post-traumatic stress, especially trauma related to physical or SEXUAL ABUSE. Paul 'Muzza' Murray who doubles as the clubs SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) points out that rectal digging and fecal smearing may be part of an obsession that is spiraling out of control. Murray stresses the need for caregivers to understand the child rather than shame them!!!
The Business School started slower than a queue for Levi's 501's in Fidel Castro's 1980's Havana! Hedgey's Comancheros reverted to the long ball game today after recent losses playing the Wenger way! But nobody really bought into the philosophy as The Economists struggled to support Striker Byrnes (Not Craig but the one footed variety!) and created very few clear cut chances. The game resembled a training game as both sides passed the ball about without any real urgency. The Collegiate struck first with a goal that was clearly offside but the ref was under orders from his Dad (a long term political opponent of the Business School Sandinistas) to give the Rossineri nothing nada ziltch! Byrnes struck back to make it 1-1 and this led to a short spell of domination for the Business! But the ref awarded an even more clear cut offside goal to the Yellows! 2-1 COLLEGIATE!! A Third goal came from Collegiates pygmy wingers cutting the Economists Defence open and a rasping shot pinging in off the post! Despite the scoreline there was little in it and Paul 'Birdman' Brady (Oscar Winner of 2015) found his voice and stood out imperious at centre back marshalling his defence. HALF TIME - AN UNDESERVED COLLEGIATE 3 - BUSINESS SCHOOL 1!!
In the second half Karloff and Muzz awoke from their slumber and began to win their midfield battles! Mitchell came on for Farrell and combined well with Bibby and Byrnes down the right hand side. Hedges hit a Byrnes cutback cleanly on the edge of the box but with as much venom as an auld Circus cobra that's had its fangs removed! Collegiate brought on their secret weapon; Beyoncé Knowles fresh from her FORMATION WORLD TOUR 2016 who terrorised the freshly washed Arbuckle-Gunther down the right wing. Bibby struck a class freekick in the dying minutes but the keeper was well placed to stop it going in!! further goals for Collegiate made it - FINAL SCORE - BUSINESS SCHOOL 1 - COLLEGIATE 6 !!!
CLUB DOCTOR MURRAY RECOMMENDS THAT GUNTHER WEARS RESTRICTIVE CLOTHING FROM NOW ON SUCH AS ONESIE PYJAMAS WORN WITH THE ZIPPER ON THE BACK!! WALTERS RETIRES FROM COMPETITIVE FOOTBALL FOR THE 9TH TIME!!! GUNTHER ADMITS TO SHARING BUNKBED WITH UNCLE BARRY!!! HEDGES DECLARES HE HAS A SECRET PLAN TO TURN THE SEASON ROUND (LOTTO WIN AND CRAIG BYRNES IS ALL HE WILL REVEAL) !!! MITCHELL HELD IN CELLS OVERNIGHT ON SUSPICION OF DRUG DRIVING!!! GUNTHER VOWS TO TAKE UP DARTS!!!
DOES YOUR CHILD HAS PROBLEMS WITH SMEARING? IF SO VISIT http://www.evidence.nhs.uk/search?q=fecal%20smearing
MANAGERS FILM RECOMMENDATION OF THE WEEK - 400 BLOWS! - Francois Truffaut's 1959 CLASSIC intensely touching story of a young adolescent from Kirby seen as a troublemaker by all around him!