The Chancers from Quarry Bank may have won the game today but the Old Economists walked away with their heads held high safe in the knowledge that they are a group of fellows who never bully small boys, or turn their backs on big ones!! FORM IS TEMPORARY BUT GOOD BREEDING LASTS A LIFETIME!!!
The first half started slowly for the Business School and after only 8 minutes in the Oiks scored from a clearly offside position!! A delegation from the school held a powwow with the referee but it turned out the black suited Cad was from the same council estate as the opposition! SCUM 1 - BUSINESS 0 !! But class will tell and Old Xaverian Paul 'Mustashioed' Murray glided through the heart of the opposition like Nureyev in Swan Lake creating chance after chance. Not to be outdone Old Etonian Prince Karl Karloff of the Principality of Halewood joined in and pulled the strings like Dame Margot Fonteyn in the Nutcracker Suite! Steven 'Nice but Dim' Byrnes found himself out on the wing and crossed the ball perfectly for Mitchell to stroke home from close range!! SCUM 1 - BUSINESS 1!!! The Economists began to turn on the flair like a moist chocolate gateaux with cherry gnache!! On the sidelines The Business Team Manager was positively purring as he quoffed a bottle of Chateux Margaux 1967 and a side plate of oysters from his Fortnum and Mason's picnic basket! Byrnes repeated his previous cross and Jacob 'Thelonious' Naylor rifled home to put the wind up the roughhouse ruffians! SCUM 1 - BUSINESS 2!! Baronet in waiting Wallace played out of his skin pulling off a threeshotstopper extrodinare!! He pushed a shot onto the bar, then saved the rebound twice with feet and hands!! MAGNIFIQUE SIR WALLACE OF GARSTON-SPEKE!! Alas the single-parent trailer park trash managed an equaliser minutes later! HALF TIME SCUM 2 - BUSINESS 2!!!
After a quick refresher of Beluga caviar frittatas washed down with lashings of Mrs Naylor's home made lemonade the second half was underway! The Quarrymen turned bikeshed bullies as they roughed up the Business School aided and abetted by the Fraud in Black turning a blind eye to their dastardly behaviour! Paul 'Muzza' Murray was pulled back from a goal scoring opportunity to be told 'HARD CHEESE OLD SPORT!' while Jacob Naylor Junior was given 6 of the best as he picked a stud out of the side of his head! The Quarrybank bounders committed such acts of skulduggery that Bluebeard himself would have been proud!! 'Never before have I seen such a despicable display of chaps doing the dirty on other chaps simply to get ahead' said spectator and all round good egg Jacob Rees-Mogg M.P.!! A perfect finish from Michael Carlton-Browne Din of the F.O. ended up unfortunately in the corner of his own net! OIKS 3 - BUSINESS 2!!! Further disappointment lay ahead as the Scum made it 4 - 2!! But Byrnes who had delighted all afternoon pulled one back with a solo effort - Jolly Good Show!! 4 - 3 !! It was time to put the Playground Bully back in his Ottoman !! A gossamerlike freekick from Hedges on the edge of the box found Gary 'Bibby-Bibsta' Bibs on the back post but he couldn't quite squeeze it in!! The Quarrybank scoundrels barged and jostled their way to another goal to make it FINAL SCORE - SCUM 5 - BUSINESS 3!!
ARSENE HEDGES DECLARES THE QUARRY AN ABSOLUTE SHOWER!!! PAUL 'MUZZA' MURRAY WRITES A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF COUNTRY LIFE!!! MRS NAYLOR BAKES SCONES FOR TEA!!! WOLFGANG ARBUCKLE-GUNTHER THE THIRD CAUGHT PLAYING WITH HIS LITTLE MAN IN THE TEAM BATH - BLOODY HELL!!!