As one Tinkerman Fell from Grace another Tinkerman rose like a Phoenix from the ashes of a season in turmoil!! Claudio Hedgiari pulled off a managerial masterstroke today as he unearthed the centre back pairing of Harrison and Naylor that shone more brightly than the Koh-I-Noor Diamond!!
Media stories of Hedgiari loosing the dressing room were proven to be fake news as the Business School changing room rocked to the beats of Shalamars 'I Can Make you Feel Good' before kick off! Simon 'Claggy' Naylor entertained his teammates by twerking erotically in some very short shorts as Larko stuffed fivers into his taut waistband!! This new found positivity spilled out onto the pitch as the Business School took to the carcinogenic carpet like an emphysema sufferer on 40 a day!!! Jacob Naylor assumed his new role like St Francis of Assisi spreading his gospel of 'Where there is despair may we bring Hope!' Meanwhile Harrison barged into the opposition like a runaway lorry which hadn't had its brakes checked for years! On the left wing there was a comeback for the one time Poet Laureate Philip Larkin who huffed and puffed his way up and down the wing like Percy the Small Engine! At one point he jackhammered his opposite number headfirst into the ground and then stopped to read him his award winning ode 'Families Fuck You Up!' The Economists were winning every battle and taking the game to the United Nations Allstars! Man of the Match Steven Byrne started as he meant to go on with a sublime toebunger into the top right corner that left their keeper glued to the spot! CONVO 0 - BUSINESS 1 !! Ten minutes later he slotted home his second to double the lead! CONVO 0 - BUSINESS 2!! Then Salim Al Mubarak Al Sabar, the 7th in line to the Kuwaiti Crown seized on an uncharacteristic mistake from the constantly aroused Simon 'Horny' Naylor to pull one back for Convocation! But Byrnes wasn't finished yet and in the 44th minute he was felled in the box by the keeper only to get back on his feet and slot home for his hattrick!! HALF TIME - CONVOCATION 1 - BUSINESS SCHOOL 3 !!
In the second half Hedgiari began tinkering like Tommy McTinker the Travelling Tinker from Tralee!! First he unleashed Ole Man River McGrath and went to 3-5-1 and then he brought on Calamity McLean and changed it to 4-5-2!! But no matter how he tried to confuse his own players the Economista Sandinistas adapted and stood strong! Harrison swapped handbags with Ahmed Al Jaber Al Sabah , the 8th in line to the Kuwaiti Crown before upending him in the box for an obvious penalty. The cheeky arab chipped it over Wallaces head to make it CONVOCATION 2 - BUSINESS 3!! But great teams show their mettle when things get tough. And that's exactly what Kristian 'Zika' Farrell did as hustled his opposite number off the ball and ran the length of the pitch as well as spraying inch perfect balls to Bibby and McGrath!! They both had chances to extend the lead but fluffed their lines and Byrnes could have made it 4 if only he had chipped the keeper!! Convocation brought on their secret weapon Tenpole Tudor and his swords of 1000 men as Karl 'Killer' Karloff licked his lips like a Rotti at an illegal dog meet! Edward Tenpole foolishly tried to outmuscle the Karloff and ended up slammed to the canvas with a bloody nose!! ARMAGEDDON SMACKDOWN KARLOFF STYLEE!!! The ref blew the whistle before Hedgiari could sub his sub McLean and the BUSINESS ARE IN THE SEMIS!!!!! FINAL SCORE CONVOS 2 - BUSINESS 3 !!!
MRS NAYLOR REVEALS HER LOVEMAKING WITH MR NAYLOR HAS REACHED NEW HEIGHTS SINCE THEY REENACTED 50 SHADES DARKER!!! CELTIC GINGA LARKIN DEMANDS DNA TEST ON HIS BLACK BABY HENRY ANGUS LARKIN!!! HARRISON RECIEVES MAN AT C&A AWARD FOR 3rd YEAR RUNNING FOR HIS WORK SHIRT TUCKED INTO TRACKIE BOTTOMS CATWALK COLLECTION!!! POET PHILIP LARKIN ADMITS TO THUMBING IN A SOFTEE WHEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!!