Football can be such a revelation. Prancing around, you feel the sweet sensation. We might be winners if the rythums right. I hope this feeling never ends tonight. So said Arsene Hedges after the Business School carried on where they left off in late December when Martin Larkin and Wizzard were top of the charts with 'I Wish it could be Christmas Everyday! '
The first half started with serious purpose and the one touch football that has become synonymous with the Business Schools play. Steven Schurle foraged down the wing beating his marker to the corner flag but couldn't find the net. Kevey Roberto was also profligate in attack wasting two gilt edged chances. But the Carlisle Cruiserweight was just warming up. A shot by Schurle was spilled by the Liobians Shoebomber in nets and Rich Ritchie pounced to open the scoring. In midfield Carl 'The Bear' Doherty was pulling the strings and outmuscling the Ulstermen in green. Pressure paid off and Roberts slotted into the corner to make it HALF TIME : BUSINESS SCHOOL 2.LIOBIANS 0!!
In the 2nd half Jethro Peach came on at centre back and ploughed an agricultural furrow on the edge of defence. In goal Trousersnake Ellison had little to do except to launch rockets into space. But a rare liobians corner was headed in as Las Economists failed to react in a stark warning ahead of the visit of The Collegiate Nozza Dogs in 4 days time. The most improved footballer in recent times Adam 'The Quiet Man' Timms played a beautiful layoff to Gary 'The Hitman' Bibby to sneak a shot under the keepers body. Timms then served up another assist for Jonny Jackson to slide a chip into the top corner!! FULL TIME: BUSINESS SCHOOL 4 LIOBIANS 1
STOP PRESS: MARTIN LARKIN COMES OUT AS NON - BINARY PANSEXUAL!!! JOE BIRKETT DITCHES DREAMS OF PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TO BECOME JOE ANDERSONS PERSONAL ACCOUNTANT!! MICHAEL DIGGA DINN MISTAKEN FOR EVERGREEN SUEZ CONTAINER SHIP!!!
Iam only a guide. I allow others to express what they have in them. I have not created anything. Iam a facillatator of what is beautiful in man." said Arsene Hedges today after his protégés led by maestro Paul Murray toyed with their opponents like team mascot Bingo toying with mouses. After 26 years of preaching his philosophy of football the Business School finally attained a higher level of consciousness while emulating the artistic delights of Pires, Bergkamp and Thierry Henry!!
Today's game began where last week's game left off. Possession, precision and quality saw the School playing nice neat passing around the fulcrum of Roberts head and chest. Bibby and Richman combined down the right and put the Cardinals back line under continual pressure. It was all one way traffic and finally playmaker Murray hit a shot from outside the box through a crowd of players to break the deadlock. BUSINESS 1 - CARDINALS 0!! At the back Ruud Von Timms was cementing himself as an accomplished centre back dispossesing their strikers time and again. The game continued in the same manner until Newman pounced on a rare mistake to draw level. HALF TIME: BUSINESS 1 - CARDINALS 1!!
At no point was the final outcome in question as Naylor came on for P and O's Captain Haddock. The 2nd half only saw The Economists dominate further. Murray pulled the strings of his marionettes as the Business played intricate one touch passing inside the Cardinals penalty box. It was like watching the Invincibles trying to walk the ball into the back of the net. The opposition couldn't get close to the ticci taca football of Bibby, Doherty, Schurle and Murray. With a sense of impending inevitability Richie Rich charged the keeper down. The ball defected off his pierced right nipple and he slotted home. VAR only served to back up the referees initial thought and the goal was chalked up!! BUSINESS 2 - CARDINALS 1!! Rik Wakeman came on for Roberts and picked out Richman on the edge of the box with some inch perfect crosses. Schurle was now released to rampage to the flag and cross for Richman to just miss with a header. Then a bullet throw in from the bespectacled mutineer was touched on to beat the keeper, but got stuck in the mud on the line. A 5 minute spell by the Reds saw Ellison pull off a world class save and a shot rifle off the post. But then Birkett rounded man after man like Beckenbauer in his Bayern Munchen heyday. Goal Trois saw Murray receive the ball on the edge of the box and he duly dispatched to bag his brace and Business Schools 3rd!! The Managers favourite moment came as Bibby showed a bagful of moxie and lunged like an Olympic bobsleigher to make the tackle of the year! Then Rich laid the ball into Doherty to side foot home with his left peg and the rout was complete!! Passing football of the highest order!!! FULL TIME: BUSINESS SCHOOL 4 - CARDINAL NEWMAN 1!!!
STOP PRESS!! KITMAN COLIN ARRESTED FOR ILLEGAL RAVE IN HIS CAR!!! ASHLEY KICKS OFF ANAL PROLAPSE AWARENESS WEEK!!! ARSENE HEDGES SAYS "I'M NO WITCH DOCTOR, I'M MERELY A FOOTBALL COACH!!!