Today at the University Lodge Ground the Business School at 2-1 down looked to have weathered the storm and repelled the Convocation Fur Trappers!! But the Hardwood Dam Nick 'The Cat' Wallace and his 3 Man Defence had spent so long building finally burst in the last 20 minutes as the opposition brought down the Flood!!!
The First half began in a loosey-goosey fashion as both sides played a relaxing style of football that was the sporting equivalent of Brian Eno's ambient concept album 'Music For Airports'. For the first time in weeks the Economista Pistoleros were playing their football in the opposition half probing like a Proctologist's Sigmoidoscope. The Manager was Happy as a sandboy striding out at dawn to Hilbre Island to study the common crab in its natural rock pool habitat. Muzz and Bibby combined well like two twins suffering from Folie A Deux Syndrome! Then Jacob SON OF CLAG auditioning for the part of permanent centre forward fluffed his lines in a one on one with the keeper which he failed to convert. The Economists back 3 were playing Koolio and the Gang football up to this point but then made the schoolboy error of failing to play to the whistle. Convocation's Carlos Sanchez in offside positions twice ghosted in to make it HALF TIME - CONVOCATION 2 - BUSINESS SCHOOL 0 !!!
At Half time Hedges brought on his SECRET WEAPON - Michael 'Doodlebug' McGrath for the Mighty Clag who had been left floundering on the left wing like a Winter Flounder on a North Sea Trawler about to have its gills slit! Karloff and Farrell put in crucial tackles in their own box and Wallace tipped a goal bound shot onto the post. At the other end Paul 'Muzza' McMurray was gliding through the opposition midfield like a large North American water based rodent with large incisors gliding through its home made pond. Steven 'King of the Assists' Byrnes played a perfect cross in for SON OF CLAG to tap in from close range. CONVOCATION 2 - BUSINESS SCHOOL 1 !!! For ten minutes the Economista's turned the screw with McGrath lashing a venomous volley only for their keeper to pull off a wonder save. Bibby followed up with a cheeky lob over the keepers head that agonisingly hit the bar. The final score could have been so different if these chances had gone in but the Schools bad luck failed to turn. Wallace then brought down Sanchez for a stonewall penalty only to pull off a miraculous double save and he celebrated like Hulk Hogan in 'No Holds barred'. But the more the Business chased the game the more they left themselves vulnerable at the back. Convocation brought on 7 foot 3 Larry bird Junior to head in Convocation's third before two more goals followed. In the dying minutes Karl 'Loves a Bundle' Karloff made the best rugby tackle on Convocation's number 7 since Boris Johnson at 2006's Soccer Aid!! FINAL SCORE CONVOCATION 5 - BUSINESS SCHOOL 1 !!!
SON OF CLAG ADMITS TO HEARING MR AND MRS NAYLOR IN FLAGRANTE!!!! KARLOFF SAYS IM SOOOOO SOOOOO SORRY!!!! THE MANGER ADMITS HE IS DEVOID OF IDEAS!!! ARGDEUX FARRER ADMITTED TO A and E WITH SEVERE CRAMP AND DAMAGED PRIDE!!!
MANAGERS FILM RECOMMENDATION OF THE WEEK - DAVID LYNCH'S 'BLUE VELVET' STARRING ANDREW WALTERS AS THE PSYCHOTIC GANGSTER SNIFFING ON AN OXYGEN MASK INBETWEEN CRYYING 'MOMMA, MOMMA' AND RESTING HIS FACE ON ISABELLA ROSSELLINI'S SNATCH!!!