Inter Menan 3 vs 3 Eastfield Boys

Spoils even in xmas slobberknocker!!   Menan took to the battlefield with the news echoing around the famous Pindar Astro Arena that Steven Dorey, Menan’s top scorer is likely to miss the rest of the campaign. The injury list is growing with Dorey now added to long term victim – The Jet Heeled Bicep Bulging Robbie Hawkes!   It was never going to be a meaningless cup affair as the leagues two big guns (not as big as Hawkes Gun’s I would like to add) met in the cup group stage for the very first time knowing a point would surely send them both in to the knock out round.   The Menanians were boosted by the return of last week’s homework victim Greendog and club Captain Marvel Patterson. In a bright start the Menanians hit the ground running against their superbly kitted out opponents who were desperate for revenge after being crucified in the last meeting.   The scourge of Menan, Van Dodson opened the scoring with a pearler of a strike from 20 yards as the Menanian midfield failed to press, leaving Van Dodson with enough time and space to do what he does best, sink pint after pint and tell Tony Ross how they will easily beat Menan! Oh and smash home in expert fashion to take the scores 1-zip Eastfield.   The goal spurred on the tangerines as they looked around for someone to step in to Dorey’s goal getting shoes, that man was Gez “The Hitman” Ward. Fresh from being on the panel alongside Amanda Holden, The Hoff and of course Simon Cowell judging the Slovenian Eurovision Thong Contest, The Hitman was unsurprisingly jet lagged, although he didn’t let that show as Tony Ross found him with a superb sling. Ward brought it down like a dream, turned on a sixpence and annihilated the post with a RPG style rocket of a shot which beat the keeper all ends up, only for the rebound to fall straight to our hero for a simple tap in. A great show of Alan Shearer style target man play by Ward.   The honours were now even and Menan were looking the more confident team as they made their Eastfield counterparts chase shadows with wave after wave of attacks, likened to the waves of Scarborough South Beach on a Summer’s day.   Greendog was up to his usual tricks, making a mockery of anyone who opposed him and creating chance’s for his fellow Menanians. It is only a matter of time before the floodgates open for the Greendog and his superior training comes in to effect and gets him up the goal scoring charts, sadly today he hit the post (again) when very well placed.   Last weeks debutant Phil Pickard had entered the fray to his theme music – Rocky. He was quick to get in on the act by marshalling the defence and looking to release the forwards with his toe pungers. That is exactly what happened next as he picked out defensive stalwart and recent Goal Machine Jack Willan with a stupendous through ball that Glenn Hoddle himself would have been proud of. Willan did the rest with his usual hit and hope approach, which left the keeper picking the ball out of the Crocodile sack and give Menan the lead.   Patterson led by example in the middle, winning more balls than Alan Carr playing touch me, feel me, lick me in a dark room with Barrymore, George Michael and Patrick Dean!!. After good hold up play once again and to cap a sterling first half performance, Ward laid off Patterson who did the rest with a tidy finish and extend the lead to two points over a disgruntled Eastfield.   The lead could have been extended and the game been out of reach if it hadn’t of been for some wasteful finishing on our forwards part. Gez “The Hitman” Ward the guilty party, as was Greening. This week’s training Thursday 7.30pm, live to the public on Gallows close will definitely have a shooting theme.   Half time Menan 3 v 1 Eastfield Nice Kit   The second period saw Menan for some reason play like their Royal Oak brethrens and get men behind the ball and look to frustrate. Wards superior fitness was beginning to show as the big target man’s impact on the game tailed off, which is to be expected with Gez himself recently returning from the Menan injury curse of death.   Plumpton could only look on from the side whilst attempting to administer himself mouth to mouth due to his recent Kieran Dyer like fitness. The battle was becoming as one sided as it was in the first period, although this time the multicoloured kitted Eastfield were calling the tune as Menan looked to play on the counter.   Once again it was left to Van Dodson to pull his troops out of the shitter as he ran off his man and delighted his Top Shop dwelling followers with a finish of quality as he dinked it over the Karaoke loving Tony Ross.   Menan were still creating the odd opportunity and once again could of finished the game but the sting to the Xmas celebrations came like the death of Madge Bishop to Ramsey street as a vast array of defensive communication saw a simple tap in for Eastfield take the score to 3 a piece.   The Man of the Match award was taken home by Van Dodson who always looked a threat in his new surroundings. Tony Ross admitted after the game “if I was a girl, I’d definitely ask him out for a drink”, which was met with anger by the Menan camp as Patterson and Ward nailed him with a nipple cripple each, and Ross will now be dropped for next weeks game

Inter Menan 3 vs 3 Eastfield Boys

Inter Menan 3 V 3 Eastfield Boys

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