Inter Menan 5 vs 0 Just United

Buzzin Patto Goes Goal Nap! <p style="text-align: center;">The new season got underway in relatively easy fashion for the Inter Menan lads with the oposition taking to the field with only 5 men! <p style="text-align: center;">The Menanians welcomed new summer signing Steve Roberts who joins on a free transfer. Roberts has vowed to roll back the years and shed his wealth of experience to the younger Menanians. <p style="text-align: center;">With Dobson the former captain of Menan sensationally left out of the match squad for the first game of the season due to&nbsp;breaking club rules, Patterson took up the armband and tossed away. Dobson was ousted by an insider by breaking club rules by having himself an under the drinking age girlfriend, with him currently in love with a minor in his home town of Hunmanby. Touchline Menan reporter Gail Hailstorm has put a bounty on her head with any information of her name landing the lucky grass a whopping &pound;3.25. <p style="text-align: center;">Back to the action with the Menan lads a man up it was always likely to be easy pickings, like Dobson with sweeties outside Filey school gates. Dorrey opened the scoring after a Menan breakaway and settled some early nerves caused by some woeful finishing in the child like goal. <p style="text-align: center;">More was to follow as Jedd "The Hitman" Ward playing the Bergkamp role, calmly claimed his first assist playing pass with Patterson before he notched his first of the campaign. Pattersons new armband seemed to give him a new lease of life as he fired in number 2, courtesy of goalkeeping from the James Prethro school of handling. <p style="text-align: center;">The Menanians were failing to keep up a high tempo with some sloppy over elaborate passes but Patterson did find the net with the games, and Menan's 3rd of the match. <p style="text-align: center;">Half time 3 - 0 <p style="text-align: center;">Roberts began the second half like a man on a mission, ghosting his way round defenders in an attempt at finding an opening for himself, which sadly didnt come. Ward went from Bergkamp to Akinbiyi with some staggering misses when 1 on 1 with the Just United stopper! <p style="text-align: center;">Jack Willan was once again the defensive enforcer fresh from pissing his pants at the weekend, the United defenders were certainly keeping a wide birth this evening, and i dont blame them! <p style="text-align: center;">Once again it was left to Patterson to steal the show as he sealed his hatrick by stealing the ball from Roberts who had done all the donkey work,&nbsp;then fiinishing in sublime fashion, wheeling away with a grin bigger than Willan after a victory on the gambler. <p style="text-align: center;">Dorrey finished off the rout with an accomplished finish with Ward grabbing his own personal hatrick of assists. <p style="text-align: center;">Overall an average performance which pundits put down to a new Menan team, can this team lift the much coverted Premiership Crown? Will we have a new name on the golden boot? Will Willan piss his pants once again? and can Menan cope without Plumpton in next weeks Premiership clash? Only time will tell...... <p style="text-align: center;">The match sponsors "Pattersons astro turf whip round fund" gave it to Menans new captain chavtastic&nbsp;after his 3 goal haul. <p style="text-align: center;">To finish a fairly easy affair with the Menan lads needing to speed up their play, communicate more and they will almost certainly need to be more ruthless infront of goal, maybe a recall of Dobson??