Inter Menan 8 vs 1 Klassifield

Forkin Klass!!!   Inter Menan hi tman Ged Ward turned last weeks frustration into this weeks jubilation as he teamed up with fellow ball lover Brooksby to down Klassifield in a 7 goal haul respectively.   In a quite sweltering Pindar astro Arena the Menanian lads were boosted with defensive stalwart Willan returning from his sulk after finding his dummy and ing in the gap on his incredibly large melon like nut. The rest of the squad were the same side that were downed in last weeks slobber knocker, and they set out with a point to prove.   The first attack came from kick off as Brooksby drove at the Klassified defence before finding Jimmy Floyd Ward unmarked as he did the rest with ease and netting his first of the season, and first of the evening. This was after barely 30 seconds and Klassifield were clearly shaken, and star struck coming up against the band wagon that is Inter Menan. Almost instantly it was more goal action as Ward dispatched his second, ripping off his shirt Hulk Hogan stylie to show his frustration toward the Menanian management for last weeks lack of game time. What an incredible smooth and rippling body on show by the Ged. Referee Pashby was certainly taken back by his soft baby skin as the rest of the game was overshadowed by some strange decisions by the man in orange.   Ward completed his hat trick with Brooksby also finding himself on the score sheet as the score hit 4 – Neil.   The score could have been far greater if Dorrey had not of missed from close range with the goal gaping like Jordans Dawsons Creek fresh from her split with Peter Andre. This was the miss of the game and Dorrey was clearly upset as he knew his top scoring feet were being caught up by the half cousin twice removed of Steve Brookstein (X Factor Finalist) - Wayne Brooksby.   It was turning into quite an exhibition by the Menanian boys as the new defensive unit of Willan and Captain Patterson were holding firm giving license to midfield playmakers Plumpton and Dorrey. Dorrey unleashed Plumpton with a wonder ball which Plumpton unfortunately could not finish in similar quality as he poked the ball over the bar. More Plumpton action was to follow as he found himself in acres of space down the right and decided to let rip with a shinned/toed effort which came back off the Klassified post, it seems such a long time ago since Plumpton found the net in last years season of 12 personal strikes!!!   Half Time Menan 4 – 0 Klassified   The Menan boys took the half time break to replenish water levels. Willan however refrained from using the match water bottles with his obvious allergic reaction to water and pulled out some baby wipes to suck on as per usual.   After a few dull moments as the Mexican waves surrounded the pitch, Plumpton received another killer ball by creative Harry Potter style wizard Dorrey. Plumpton caressed the ball like a sweet lady taken home after 14 pints and hammered her home into the near post past the despairing window wearing Klassifield keeps and finally breaking his duck for the season.   The Menan goal of the game was to follow as a flowing one touch move using the whole Menan unit found Brooksby playing it into Plumpton in the target man position and he paved the way with the return for Brooksby to hammer home and trip over his hair into the Klassifield penalty area after scoring. Quite a bizarre celebration but sources close to Brooksby claim it is a show of defiance to all who mock his long flowing girl like hair as he will never get it cut!!!   The Tangerines were playing some top stuff and it was only a matter of time before more goals were to follow as Dorrey once again pulled out another sublime pass to find Brooksby and as per usual he hit the target from close range.   Ward was obviously worried. The top assist man was being caught faster than Jack Willan getting himself to Coral after his latest pay packet as Vernon Kay look alike Dorrey was pulling out all the stops and laying on his fifth assist to the rapturous applause of the 4 man strong crowd with Brooksby being the beneficiary, his fourth of the game.   In the final moments of the game Ward delivered the tackle of the match as he hunted down fellow Menan player Brooksby as he headed for goal. Ward timed his moment to perfection before delivering a Roy Keane style tackle on Alfe Inge Haarland on Brooksby as he attempted to take the ball from his team mate to benefit his own goal ratio. Sadly for him Brooksby rode the tackle and tucked the ball away. Sadly for Brooksby the nights referee Pashby blew the whistle as he scored and giggled to himself. Sadly for Pashby hes a shite ref!!!   Tonights man of the match award was hotly disputed between Ward and Brooksby with the commentary team of John Barnes and Matt Le Tissier having to decide the gong via a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors with Barnes’s choice Brooksby coming out on top as Barnes added “He reminds me of a young me, Obviously whiter with longer hair”.   Next week sees our boys up against Champagne Super Rovers for the very first time with tickets slashed to £14 for Adults £5 for Juniors. OAP’s and Gays in FREE!!!!

Inter Menan 8 vs 1 Klassifield

Inter Menan 8 V 1 Klassifield

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