Inter Menan 2 vs 1 Klassifield

Menan March On!!! As the Summer nights slowly drift away the Menanians set forth on a journey to the title with first stop Klassified FC. An almost full strength side, bar Willan for his misdemeanours for his International side Ayton last season and Ward due to his serious smoking injury saw Menan take to the field in good shape. Ward is rumoured to be out for the rest of the campaign after attempting to beat fellow Menan player Disco Dave Lovell’s world record of smoking 72 fags in 5 minutes with the attempt going horrifically wrong leaving Ward with serious carpet burns, - 1 Eyebrow and a sore anus!   After the last outing and glorious victory sending the Menanians top of the league via demolishing TidyStar, the boys knew tonight’s game would be no less important and settled down into an early passing rhythm like no other Mundial side can match.   The force was strong for the Menanians as they took the upper hand from the get-go and tested the Klassified keeper almost instantly. It was to be the night’s theme as the Klassifield stopper pulled off a number of terrific/flukey saves from the forward line of Hawkes, Greening and Patterson.   The first real chance fell to Greening who hit the woodwork from 13 yards. He was however not on his own as Hawkes fired high and wide into the factory road end and Patterson + Dorey also laid on weak efforts to break the deadlock as frustration set in at the 10 minute mark.   The jet-heeled Hawkes was causing the opposition all sorts of problems and leaving them in a whole world of pain; unfortunately for Menan his finishing was doing the same to his team mates!   For all the tangerines pressure it was the away side who drew first blood as a passing move broke down due to a lapse pass into the middle from Plumpton, and after hurdling a challenge the burly Klassified forward drove the ball past Tony Ross and left Plumpton as upset as a rejected X Factor contestant who’s mum and dad both told her she’s a good singer before picking up 4 No’s from the judges!   The Menan pressure was again relentless with more chances bouncing off the window wearing keeper, who was pleased to see the closest effort that past him strike the wood work once again.   The crowd were becoming restless as the black/reds battened down the hatches and looked to keep a clean sheet, which with the indifferent finishing was looking a strong possibility!   Half Time – 0 v 1   After a rousing team talk from Captain Patterson and a fist clench + grunt from Tony Ross the Menan Boys were up for it and ready to put the wrongs of the first half right.   Some sweeping play saw Hawkes picked out down the left and after cutting inside onto his stronger right peg saw his effort crash ones again back off the woodwork!   It was real pressure now with  Klassified struggling to break clear of their own defence, although one rare attack of note did see Dorey getting megged like a kipper which came to nothing, but well worth a mention!   The home side were soon level as Menan tore into the Klassified side with more slick passing and Dorey sending out a delicious ball to the tiny Plumpton who was unmarked on the left. Another big goal was to follow as the defensive stalwart placed his shot around the keeper and sent the crowd wild and gave Dave Lovell the chance to grope his male friends in celebration!!   The goal raised the aggression levels like a Roy Keane changing room after a 4-0 defeat by the Toon and both sides began to bite into every challenge. Plumpton gave away a 20 yard free kick for hauling down Barker but again any strike of note failed to trouble the Inter Menan number 1.   After various warnings to several players from illegal substance lover Bill Pashby the game was beginning to hit boiling point and…….Hero Time!!!   The Menan fans went crazy bonkers with just 5 minutes to go as a potential slip up turned into glee and jubilation as Hawkes fired in a corner to Plumpton who somehow brought the ball down with BOTH feet and fed Greening down the right, he centred a ball to Dorey who nonchalantly picked out Hawkes who had stayed left and he did the rest with his only cool finish of the night, but nobody’s cooler than Hawkes as he slammed home from 8 yards and celebrated with his team mates giving off the “new baby” celebration in honour of his unborn, which incidentally is going to be called Hulk (Hawkes).   The final stages turned ugly as a nutter from Klassified found himself pulled up for a poor challenge and saw red. After the card Pashby laid down his authoritor as he banned the player for terrible foul and abusing language for claiming Pashby was “Smacked up!” which was obviously unjustified and completely untrue!   Man of the match finds Klassified stopper come away with the plaudits after he single handedly kept the tangerines out on numerous occasions by hook or by crook, not that he has a hook for a hand or anything as that would just be against all health and safety rules, and obviously take him quite a while to get his gloves on!

Inter Menan 2 vs 1 Klassifield

Inter Menan 2 V 1 Klassifield

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