Inter Menan 4 vs 0 Staxton Dynamite

Dynamite Cartman!!   Herd Carter finally ended his 3 games and 105 minute goal drought with a sensational hatrick that brought home the points for Menan. Stevens also notched his first of the season showing that tonight was indeed the night for firsts!   The tangerines of Menan had a much changed line up with Ross keeping his place in goal after much public criticism from team mate Carter who has indeed slammed his goal letting in antics “why couldn’t he save them?” Carter moaned to our touchline reporter Gail Hailstorm. “I am very disappointed in his performances of late and blame him solely for the team’s demise” Carter added forcefully, whilst smoothly stroking Hailstorms flowing blonde locks and smacking his lips together in suggestive fashion and pouting.   Ross is said to be fuming after such an internal outburst with a source close adding “Ross is not a happy jock. You saw RossyWardgate last year, well you aint seen nothing yet. When he gets his goalkeeping mitts on Carter he’s likely to give him the biggest nuggy he’s ever felt”.   Back to the action and Menan took control of the occasion like a young Dirk Diggler in his porn star prime taking control of his “Meat”. Menan knocked the ball about with a sense of confidence which was surprising given the recent run of defeats. Returning Menanian Phil Pickard did however look slightly off the pace with a number of miss placed passes and swear words leaving his mouth very shortly after them.   It didn’t take long to break the deadlock as debutant and long time Menan fan Jacob Smart found Stevens in space, he pulled back the trigger and uted a sublime strike past the Dynamite keeper and sending the 34 man crowd into raptures. Not only Stevens best goal he’s ever scored but most definitely the hardest he has ever kicked the ball!   Smart was in his element, buzzing around the pitch like a worker bee trying to impress the Queen, he wanted this bad and found himself in space himself, only for the keeper to deny him on his debut. It was obvious the occasion was getting to the young lad who has risen through the Menanian youth system and finally been given his chance in a world where foreign imports are all the rave, just ask Plumpton who’s last signing (Carter) comes all the way from Wales, a real foreigner!   It was all Menan and Menan some more as Carter twice fumbled good opportunities to double the lead when suddenly the drought which was almost as long as the one seen in the long hot summer of Kenya in ’57 was finally over. Carter found the back of the net after some good craftsmanship from Stevens in the engine room. The joy was there on his face, and in his smalls!   Carter’s confidence was sky high as he thumped in a third just before the break after some solid defensive work by Plumpton who was marshalling the back line in the absence of Willan who is serving the first game of his two match suspension for pottymouthing officials!   Half time – Menan 3 v Neil Staxton Dynamite   Just after the break a relaxed Menan were caught cold as Plumpton found Bateman in the middle, he turned on a tractor wheel and lost out to a Staxton forward who found himself one on one with Ross, Ross lost the duel and lost his clean sheet once again. Carter muffled under his breathe, he couldn’t believe Ross had let in another goal, there seems to be some real animosity in the camp between the goal tender and the goal hunter….   Within no time the 3 goal lead was restored as Carter bagged his first hatrick for the club and take himself 1 behind Willan for the clubs Golden Boot award.   Menan could and should have added more in the dying embers of the battle only for some wasteful finishing and Plumpton not being able to kick it very hard.   The man of the Match gong goes to Plumpton this week as top football pundit Robbie Earl and his section of fans brought along to watch the game described his defending as “fabbydabbydozzy” and “a joy to watch”.   Can Menan continue this winning streak? Can they cope once again without influential square head Jack Willan? Only time will tell, be sure to check out the Pindar Astro Arena next week and find out!...

Inter Menan 4 vs 0 Staxton Dynamite

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