Inter Menan 1 vs 2 Eastfield Boys

Ross’s bedroom antics overshadow defeat   Menan sunk to their first defeat of the season in quite controversial fashion as referee Al Marshall failed to keep the lid on a pulsating affair vs rivals The Eastfield Boys.   The game was overshadowed and at one point in doubt as the Sunday morning papers brought the staggering story that Inter Menan stopper Tony Ross had in fact been knocking off fellow Menan Star Gez Ward’s missus.   The jaw dropping revelations in the Scarborough Evening News claim Ross “explored every nook and cranny” of Ward’s long time lover Teresa Green with Ward said to be “Fuming and greatly hurt” by an inside Menan source. With the story hitting the camp it was unclear if the two would line up along side each other in what some quarters described as an early season title decider, especially after Menan had beaten Eastfield so comfortably in the early season.   Menan welcomed debutant Dean Craig in to their ranks and he was quick to settle in after firing a shot straight at The Eastfield’s stopper when well placed. Ward was plying a lone role up top and he released Craig who unleashed a left footed drive which was expertly saved once again. Menan were on top and needed to make it count when suddenly Jack Willan unleashed a worldy of a ball down the left into Craig’s feet, he let rip with a strike no goalie in the world would have saved, not even Shaka Hislop in the 94/95 season. The crowd went wild as one of the goals of the season flew in at the Pindar Astro Arena, it was something to warm the die hard following Menan fans on such a cold winters Eve.   The Eastfield boys were once again up to their old tricks again with heavy handed tactics and flailing elbows as Mccoubrey, like every other battle between the 2 sides in recent history was skinned alive by Midfield playmaker Plumpton with his silky quick feet, only to be dumped on his hyny with an elbow The Undertaker would have been proud of.   Menan failed to take advantage of their superior possession before the break and rode their look on one or two occasions with love rat Tony Ross excelling once again in net.   Half time Menan 1 v Neil Eastfield Boys The first real moment of controversy (excluding Ross knocking off Ward’s bird as described earlier) came as Menan were about to kick off the second half. As match official Al Marshall checked his meat n two veg were still in his under crackers The Eastfield Boys self confessed “Man of Steel” Danny Hulk Hogan-Price sent in a blow to Menans Dean Craig (Who had his back turned). With the ref unsighted the game got under way with the teams still at 6 a piece but the cards were about to be delivered at a rate even higher than the amount the postman is rumoured to be delivering at Plumptons house this Valentines day.   Menan were in control and looking the most likely as another strike reigned in at the Eastfield goal. The Eastfield keeper launched another long ball up to Hulk Hogan-Price as Al Marshall once again fondled with his genitalia instead of watching the game. As the ball swirled in the air Hogan-Price delivered his finisher, the elbow of doom on Willan, who was the last man at the back for Menan. Price had the simple task being one on one with Ross and he won the battle, placing the ball into the far corner of the onion bag to bring the scores level as the Menan players protested in absolute fury at his heavy handed tactics, only to be turned away by the arse twitching Marshall who knew he had dropped a B*llock!!   As tempers rose to a David Batty vs Graeme Le Saux level Van Dodson in Eastfield colours was the next to throw his weight about, aiming a swipe at Willan. Patterson ran over and the pair exchanged heated views over the whole Katie Price and Alex Reid marriage, only to be shown their marching orders by Marshall who had lost complete control of the game. The teams were down to 5 a piece.   Stevens and Ward passed up some good chances to regain the lead with Stevens side footed powder puff effort drawing groans from the Menan fans who were on the edge of their seat, they hadn’t seen a game like this since the 06/07 Athletico Harchesterio battles vs Bronte FC.   Then came the sucker punch as Ward let out a touch likened to a baby rhino in mating season and put the Menanians on the back foot. Mccoubrey picked up the pig skin and ran at the Tangerines goal and letting fly with his right duke, finishing like a dream and celebrating in style with his trademark Lua Lua forward flip.   Just as the scores changed so did the playing staff as Willan left the field for appealing for some action to be taken over the bigger boys bullying, Eastfield also lost another man to make it 4 a side. With moaning on both teams and the affair about to turn uglier than Vanessa Feltz in black crotchless nicks as your valentines prezzie, Marshall called the game to a halt amidst calls for his refereeing head after a truly disgraceful performance.   The Menanians protested, Marshall finally messed his lucky briefs and Hogan Price went away to bench press his Ford Escort in celebration.   With the game over there was only one thing on the Menanians fans mind, how could Tony Ross betray his Menan team mate Ward? Would the rift split the camp and jeopardise their title and cup push? Would he pick up an itch on his tally whacker? Only time will tell and maybe next week we will have some answers!!

Inter Menan 1 vs 2 Eastfield Boys

Inter Menan 1 V 2 Eastfield Boys

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