Home league match played on 06 November 2011.
Kicked off at 10:30 AM

The Report


Many a question was asked pre match on Sunday against Catholic, the most important question that needed answering was “which SBUV side would turn up?”

Would it be the side that got pathetically crushed by Old Southendians, or would it be the heroes that triumphed over Southend Supporters last week?

I think we all know the answer!


Pre match


Another roaring barrage from Morgan and Gary pre-match, if at some stage, someone can translate what they actually said, it would be very much appreciated and good reference for next time round.

All I got out of it was;  “start fast” and “get stuck in”, truly inspirational words!

I didn’t actually see what happened to Darren, but I believe somebody shot him in the knee before kick off?, well they must have done, as when I turned round to find him collapsed on the floor in agony. One can only assume that the knee is not quite right yet mate?

Our bogey side of last year was upon us once more, how would we fair this time round?


First half


OMG we battled well! Defensively, we were totally dominant, great shape and defended like the tight unit we are.

Only on a couple of occasions did they threaten, but no real chances were created by them.

We were first to every ball and made all the threats in front of goal, difficult conditions made our fluent passing game dissolve, but nonetheless we were on top.


A few chances were created by The Fleet of note, Harry was slipped in, but couldn’t quite manage to get the ball over the keeper (who was 5ft 4”) one to many shish kebabs for Bubs the night before me thinks!

Run of the match, needs to be mentioned! Miller, picked the ball up in the middle of the park, beats one, and then two, progress of 10 yards made up the pitch, he beats three, and then four!

5 yards from goal, with only the pipsqueak keeper to beat, and you guessed it!, such was the effort of the run, there was no energy for the attempt on goal, and the ball was tapped to the keeper. Fitness Miller, and less larger!!!!!!


To be fair, Miller was up and down like a yoyo in the first half, which was quite an unusual site!, I myself (despite not having a touch first half) and the other boys in midfield (Matt and Ben) were back and forth, and The Fleet generally dominated possession.

There was some one touch passing in intervals, the only touch I recall from myself was a  30 yard cross field pass to the ever excitable RoboMorg, who made a good run and cross, but alas no reward.

Unlucky not to be in front, Half Time 0-0

Having said that, I do remember “the cat” making a couple of his usual collection items in the goalmouth (that doesn’t mean he was having a shite either by the way!)


Second Half


No immediate changes


Not much to say about the first 10 minutes of the second half, I myself was beginning to wonder  if the game was going to dissolve into a bore draw.


Changes were made, Paul S On, Bomba On – Harry Off, John A Off


With immediate effect, Bomba and Paul started to impose their obvious flair for the game, hearts raced and enthusiasm was reignited.


“ they want this more than us!” was heard from the opposition Manager, and man was he right!


Goal 1

Millsy inside to Matt H, Matt H through to Paul S, and yes the keeper and Centre Half made an error in judgement and Paul S was in. A simple finish in the end, but taken well.

1-0   to the Fleet! The eruption of cheers and applause by the 9 strong crowd, was apparently heard all the way over by the next pitch, such was the volume!


“That’s it”, I heard the cries from the gallery, “were going to do  F**%””G do this!”,  “yes Sir” said the ever encouraging Headford


And as if by magic, from the restart, or so it seemed:


Goal 2

Ben C, won a good ball in midfield, out left to Crapper (Bomba to you and i) infield to Miller and “Ave it!”  two nil, Get in!

A very deserved second goal at this point, Catholic heads could were seen dropping, which encouraged RoboMorg to let out what can only be described as a rallying war cry.

I remember having a conversation with Ben C at this point, which pretty much was trying to guess at what the hell Morgan had just said, and in what language, as it clearly wasn’t of our native tongue!


“That’s it!, We’ve fukin cracked this football game thingamajig! We heard from the sidelines


And then, before we got back from patting each other on the backs, and within what seemed like 30 seconds of the restart (i’m sure it wasn’t, it was more like 5 minutes):


Their goal – an absolute bloody fluke in my opinion, to be fair to them, their winger did put in a tremendous cross to the back post. They did get two on one on the back post with Gary B, I did hear Gary whimper “ i’m not jumping for that one!”  as the lanky streak of P<;S midfielder bloke tripped over Gary B, and as his head fell onto the ball, it flew off his head at 200 miles an hour into the top corner.

Considering he was looking at the corner flag, and the ball went off at right angles, it could only have been a fluke?


Catholic were alive again, and battling, but we held firm, on two occasions, sensibly the ball was put down to the corner flags to run the clock down (sensible, we should do that type of thing more often!)

A couple of lame efforts aside, we were home dry!


Final Whistle


South Benfleet 2 Catholic  1

“Well deserved” said the opposition, and it was!


Roll on next week! I want to see a trick of hats from Harry!

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