Inter Menan 3 vs 5 Tidy Star FC

Crash, Bang, Wallop, What a game!!!!!   On a hot summers eve at the Pindar astro arena the poor crowd turn out missed a slobber knocker of a game involving the leagues “Big Two”. This was mainly due to recent protests within the Menanian’s supporters club over Brooksby new contract and unbelievable wage demands of £2.50 per week, and of course with the game being on at peak time TV viewing time and rivalling Emmerdale Farm.   The Menanian’s welcomed last season’s top scorer Cameron Dobson after an absence due to poor discipline. The Menan hit man was dismissed during the off season for allegations of playing “Cock or Ball” with the fourth official in a kick around involving young children, which was deemed ungentle manly conduct, hence him seeing red and facing a ban.   Dobson brought the first moment of magic as he thundered a shot at Tidy’s number 1. Fezza two was up to the effort palming the strike away and setting the games sky high standards. Tidy were quick to reply and reply they did….   Nick David found himself unmarked down the right wing and sent in a swinger with his right boot which took a ricochet from Driffield born Menanian Brooksby, as it found the way to Rossys far post and making the scores one zip to the blues of Tidy.   Menan attempted to hit back with Patterson and Dobson spurning chances of the highest calibre from close range. At this point Dobson’s inferior fitness kicked in as he once again sensationally subbed himself for the raring to go Ward. Let this be a lesson to all kids, if you mess with drink, smoke fags and find yourself up late at night in the arms of minors, this is what happens to you.   Another sickener was just round the corner, quite similar to opening your bathroom door and finding Michelle McManus naked in your bath, as Tidy’s ginger wizard somehow managed to fumble his way through numerous attempted tackles and bouncing the ball off Plumpton’s shin guard before dispatching the ball past Menan stopper Rossy and making the game 2-Neil. The Menan boys could not quite believe it after the chances they had created they found themselves down by two, and desperate for glory.   Dorrey was next to add to the list of golden chance mishaps as he too fired over from close range. Nobody could quite believe the difference in finishing as the killer instinct from our lads was sadly lacking this evening.   More Menan and Tidy seesawing saw more chances, misses and unfortunately for our boys another goal, taking the score to 3-0 at the break.   A rousing team talk was to follow as Dobson paced the touchline itching to get back into the play. Within literally seconds a flowing move was capped by Brooksby as the Menanians finally hit the target and drew blood. The crowd were up like Patrick Dean in a gay bar as hope was rekindled for the tangerines. Within minutes it was 3-2 as Dobson found Dorrey who atoned for his earlier moment, something sadly a few Menanian’s got the opportunity to do this evening.   With the troops pushing on like a Kevin Keegan side, Plumpton was continually finding himself 1 vs 2 at the back. He and Menan were made to pay as Tidy struck again to take the score to 2 – 4.   In what was turning out to be one of the games of the past few seasons Dobson finally broke his duck as he turned home a Dorrey through ball with his left foot and taking the staggering score to 3 – 4. Setanta were rumoured to have wanted to buy the rights to this game and after having a bid of £6 rejected, they maybe wish they had offered more to save their station!! What a blockbuster!!!   Once again the Menan’s tails were up, but it was only a matter of time before they were knocked down like a Romanian in Belfast as Patterson decided to take up Basketball mid game and received the blue card from match official Marshall, taking him to the sin bin. Worse was to follow as Tidy once again hit the back of the net with another long range blockbuster and finishing the game off at 5 – 3.   The Menanians fantastic early season form now sees them level on 12pts with Tidy after 5 games. Where do the Menanians go from here? What lessons have they learnt? Player Manager Plumpton had this to add to his troops “It was a fair result, their finishing was like Torres and Ronaldo, and we unfortunately seemed to have brought out Shola Ameobi and Shaun Goater this evening. They certainly had the rub of the sand and I think some serious lessons have been learnt on the old tracking back side of play”.   On that note the Man of the Match sponsors “Football fitness for faggers” gave the after match free gym pass to Tidy Star team Ginger for some devastating finishing from distance.

Inter Menan 3 vs 5 Tidy Star FC

Inter Menan 3 V 5 Tidy Star FC

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