Weekly Match Report from Game 1 v Shamrocks Sunday 19th April 2009
A much anticipated fixture for the Marauders, the very first 11 a-side League fixture for the fledgling club with huge aspirations saw 12 + 1 players converge on what was formally a Shamrock stronghold - Rongotai College.
Pre-match talk was entertaining as ever. The highlight being the appearance of the ref, literally his appearance. Ginger Hair, ginger hat, red shirt and ginger whistle - well spotted Bolts! However luckily for us he was pretty good. Another highlight being Aaron's continual absence of ability to warm up the keeper. Please note Aaron that the keeper actually likes to be able to make saves and prepare himself for the game ahead NOT watch you keep running for the ball as you continually miss the target. (Whilst writing this i am actually in hysterics it was that funny).
For a more detailed account of the game please refer to the attached Stats sheets - thanks Dribble.
The game kicked off with the mighty Marauders dominating the early exchanges. However all the possession did not result in goals. All in all the first half saw 22 shots with only 14 on target and 2 goals - Stats provided by OPTA Wooding. During the first half the mighty Marauders seemed only happy to play the ball down the right to a very thankful Beauy, the only explanation for this must be trying to even up the ledger from previous games. A flurry of well worked passes (74% completion rate) from the back leading to many a goal scoring opportunity. The defence was solid as ever and should be congratulated for their efforts. Well played to the fill-ins of Lee and Greg also.
Within the first exchange Davies did his best to avoid a jug of beer by not learning from his first 1 on 1 miss and continuing to hit it straight at the keeper twice more.... If at first you dont succeed - learn from your mistake and dont do it again!! If you keep repeating the same mistake others will follow (Jono!!). A series of well taken corners by Beauy led to the first goal. Another well struck corner narrowly avoiding the heads of our towering centre backs and instead the gravitational pull of Wilson's behind (not hand thank you) ensuring the ball burst the old onion bag. Marauders 1 Shamrocks 0. (9th minute). The second goal was courtesy of another raid down the right and an assist from Beauy for a well struck first time finish by Mark. Marauders 2 Shamrocks 0.
The second half began with the Marauders struggling to settle into the game. At this point the Shamrocks thought they could be about to stage a comeback - yeah right!! Bolts soon pointed this out to them with a couple of fine saves in quick succession followed by well worked tackles by Dave, Jono and Matt. The first 15 minutes passed with more missed chances including a corner that never went onto the pitch - Beauy! Then after another good break started by Davey who fed the ball onto Beauy the ball was worked into the box to Mark who refused to pass to Aaron (good idea after witnessing his warm up!!) and beat two men before slotting the ball into the net. Marauders 3 Shamrocks 0 (62 minutes)
A series of missed chances led to the Marauders 4th (75th minute) when Wilson struck a square ball from Dumpster powerfully into the bottom right of the net. At this point you would have thought that the opposition had learnt how to kick-off especially as they had had 5 of them at this point. Unfortunatley for them this proved not the case and after 3 attempts they conceded the free kick!!
Aaron miraculously ended his goal drought by running onto another well worked through ball beating a defender and smashing the ball (some say sliced) with the outside of his boot into the bottom left (83rd minute). A well deserved goal not just for Aaron but also the Marauders who needed to see some reward for keep passing him the ball. Marauders 5 Shamrocks 0.
The final 7 minutes was a mixture of hilarity courtesy of Lee's failed attempts on goal and Greg's attempt to use every part of his body to control the ball, Dumpster being the youngest player on the pitch and the only player to get cramp and Adam's attempt to do the tango with the opposition only leading to free-kicks against the Marauders.
FINAL SCORE 5 - 0 to the Marauders.
Well done fellas a great game and a fantastic way to start the season and the Marauders 11-a-side career.
FINES: (Please note as per the Constitution that should an established player provide a fill-in (or spectator in this report) all fines for the said fill-in will be taken care of by the established player!)
Feel free to pay for these fines with extreme generosity
Bolts - 1) Asking how many jugs to buy for the thirsty troops before going to the bar. 2) For having such a lack of faith in your own ability to kick the ball off the ground and therefore asking the center back to stay back!!
Davey - For dribbling with the ball so slowly that spectators thought you were kicking a concrete block!
Jono - Shooting...... need i say more!!
Matt - For allowing a fill-in to wander up front and leave you alone at the heart of the defence. Surely an authorised Marauder would be able to have that honour first!!
Dumpster - Worst shank of the game. + see Mr & Mrs Dumpster
Adam - 1) For having the highest error rate (see stats). 2) For being the only voice on the pitch surely it must be my fault why everyone is quiet judging by Aaron's startled bunny look when taking a throw in!
Casper - Jug avoidance missing all 3 1-on-1 attempts at goal... We expect better!!
Dribble - For only e-mailing the team to alert us to your injury on a Sunday when not even Mark was at work! + see Greg
Beauy - 1) Playing a game of pool whilst representing the Marauders and losing by 3 balls to apparently 7 year olds! 2) Scoring a hat-trick on his Marauders debut and never buying a jug of non twist top to celebrate. (Bolts note "non twist top")
Lamo - 1) Sleeping whilst on duty. 2) For providing a fill-in who then didn't come to the club rooms for the mandatory post match debrief!! + see fines for Lee.
Mark - For not providing commemorative stickers for the team to celebrate the first league game.
Lee - 1) Pre game self-talk PRICELESS! eg. We'll only need 2 at the back if i'm there (surely we'd need 3 so one can cover you!); The fake comment to fool the defenders when shooting (please remember to actually strike the ball post 'fake' and not merely play a pass back to their GK). 2) No post game appearance. 3) Self positioning when guesting as a 'fill-in' for a team.
Greg - First foul throw of the season.
Mr & Mrs Dumpster - 1) For bringing up a son who doesn't know his left and right! 2) For serving up a poor pre-match diet that results in a 17 year old getting cramp AGAIN!!
COMMENDATION to Matt for his coaching of Davey pre-game. Its helpful that the right back now knows how to defend!
REMINDER to Beauy to bring the Dictaphone to games for Bolts' comment of the week, but may be best if you leave the one you have at home for 'special recordings' AT HOME!
This weeks fixture is against Trentham United at fortress Moonshine (Upper Hutt College). Trentham lost 4-2 to Porirua who we beat pre-season. However not to be underestimated.
See the link below for the season draw:
See the link below for the reason why lamo is called lamo! Well I tried google as instructed but only found this......
http://www.oldfriends.co.nz/InstitutionPhotoView.aspx?id=75207 (note not much has changed!!)
Aaron surely this isn't you??
The Marauders Football Club