Home friendly match played on 28 March 2009.
Kicked off at 11:30 AM

Match report

1st pre season 11 aside game, 2 x 35 minute halves

Date: 28.03.09

Venue: Harcourt Park, Upper Hutt

Opposition: some Hutt club team adam found

Team: (as took to the field)

Keeper – Taran

Left back- Chris?

Centre backs- Matt and Dempster?

Right back- yours truly

Left midfield:  bowie

Centre midfield: Adam, Dribble

Right midfield: laimo

Strikers: casper and mark

Absent without apology: Jono (c)


Twas a glorious Saturday morning when the team emerged for its first pre season, and in fact first 11 aside game as a team.  As the team assembled and donned the Upper Hutt College 1st 11 kit Adam continual noted Jono, the then captain’s absence.  With game time approaching a non competitive game of cross bar challenge took place, the only one to hit it being the ref.  Thankfully that wasn’t a sign of things to come.

The team took the field. With no word from Jono a call was made to him.  The team was informed that he was still in bed as was hung-over.  I was elevated to captain, being the next original in line to take the role.  Alas the captain armband was with jono.

The whistle blew and the legacy that is The Marauders FC began a new chapter, going from a 5aside to full 11 aside team.  An event that was surely noted by the world’s power houses in football. Angry please advise of the media coverage from your side of the world.

Our first attack was down our right side, with laimo running to the corner, waiting for the weighted pass.  Unfortunately dribble was amping just a bit too much and the pass had a bit too much on it.  It was however a well directed pass.

Next came a cross ball to adam who appeared to give a poor to say the least pass to a tree situated behind and well to the left of the goal.  He then had the gaul to call out, “1st shot for the marauders”.  Ah a shot requires you to propel the ball towards the goal.   

The opponents pushed the ball forward to some south Auckland punk wannabe who looked like he’d spent every dollar he had, maybe $2.5,  on his haircut.  The guy was clearly offside, which was evident to  all on the pitch but for the ref.  One nil to them.

We regrouped and soon after mark found himself one on one with the keeper. A well place kick into the top right of the net and the first Marauders 11 aside goal.


Next to strike was the punk, refer above.  Again possibly offside.  A chip that looked like it may have gone over the top of the cross bar was bought down by taran, well rather redirected into the back of our net by having the pace taken off it.

2-1 to them.

Mark then showed us how to hash a one on one situation approximately 4 times, seeming jug avoidance, see below as he did negate this. 

This is where the exact turn of events becomes somewhat hazy.

Next to slot home, I think, was casper.  A cross ball to Casper, which he hit directly at the keeper and one player was quoted as saying casper told him that but for the deflection of the keeper it wouldn't have gone in.  an own goal is still a goal, more to come on this form of goal later.

2-2 and half time.

As we left the field a somewhat worse for wear looking jono arrived.  As if lacking short term memory Jono pulled on the captain’s arm band as if oblivious to the fact he’d been cast aside by his earlier failure to show up. That mistake was soon remedied with the armband being passed to the captain.  As if he was still intoxicated and perhaps thinking he was at the men's clinic adam had been telling him about, jono let us know that Bridget didn't get him up.

Onwards and upwards, well perhaps not for jono. The second half kicked off with jono having slotted into left back and young Chris taking to the sideline, a rookie mistake.

In an effort to avoid this being a 1500 word essay I'll review the second half in bullet points.

§          Aerial through ball by them narrowly missing the towering giants of matt and adam, point blank shot.  3-2 to them

§          Their number seven and matt having a 50/50 challenge that was heavily loaded in matt's favour. Matt 1, number 7 0.

§          A free kick on the outside of their box, didn't see who got it.  Adam stepped up and seemingly mishit it (based on his 1st claimed shot of the day) as it curled into the back of their hit untouched.  3-3 .

§          Matt twice gave us impression of a tree being chopped down, getting up once and taking the ball and then getting a free kick for his second go. Matt2 , their number 7, still 0.

§          Taran giving their strikers hope by kicking the ball straight to them along the ground for a few goal kicks, thankfully our defence was more than up to the challenge.

§          A cleavily taken quick corner by bowie to laimo, then back to bowie was rocketed into the goal box to mark who slotted home from close range. 4-3 to us.

§           Next came a well struck shot from adam from 10 outside the box.  After a glance off a defender the ball carried on into the back of the net. 5-3 to us. The jury is till out on whether, but for the glance, it would have gone in and then whether the glance was minor or sufficient enough to count as an own goal.

§          Mark scoring another goal (details?)

6-3 to us from 7o minutes of football.

Of note:

Lobs over goal. Adam and mark

Great determination shown by Bowie to recover the lost ball.

How to tackle yourself with the ball. casper

Pre shot tango. Dribble

Great short passes tearing open their defence, dribble, laimo, adam and bowie.

Dempester to decide if he is to play for the boys or the men re this Thursday's game against the school's 1st 11.

Cold beers after the game, thanks Jono.

The ref needs to use his whistle. Adam to remedy.


   A solid game showing we have some real potential and should do very well this season, if we can win 6-3 in 70 minutes, when 2 of their goals were offside's, think of what we can do in 90 minutes.



Jono (has paid). Suggest that when adam is next captain he keep an eye on jono, in theory the next in line captain, and assess whether he possesses the qualities required of a captain for the following week or whether he should be cast aside again.

Bowie ( for pulling his shorts half way up his chest, not a good look)

Adam. "1st shot for the marauders", credit for not bring that swamp donkey that usually hangs around after our games waving her pudgy arm at us.

Mark. Hatrick

Matt and Laimo.  Failing to advise of when they will be hosting the marauders for a team function. Easter is coming up!!. 

Dribble. Failing to attend post game drinks and be given armband.




The Marauders Football Club
New Zealand

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