Away league match played on 17 July 2011.
Kicked off at 1:00 AM

What's with all the commotion, its only 2 days late!

Event - Nic’s Ranch


The first function of the Marauders this decade was held at 2011 recruit Nic’s house. And it did not disappoint. In attendance were originals, Wilson, Dribble and Mark, with official John, No show by Officer and Fabio and Fred, with Will being excused taking his dimples to Nellyville. John won best dressed with looking the splitting image of J.R.


Having not knowing what the theme was until about 6pm I thought it was a “Dude Ranch” so left Mallory at home with a DVD. Those in attendance at the ranch style function required chequered shirts and trucker caps.


“What about the English wearing Black as their away Strip, only the All Blacks can wear Black, Outrageous”


“The English are mightier than the rest, they can wear whatever they like”


“The All blacks wear White as their away strip as it is the contrast to Black”.


A conversation between Nic and Adam started with the former challenging the later to a battle of whits. The banter was in full flight with Wilson being hooked, lined and sinkered, however, just as things were looking up the former set himself up for a duel, ending in accidentally shooting himself in the foot.


Beer Pong


Midfielders Vs Defenders with Mark being sidelined. The game started off with Nic stating house rules, it isn’t allowed to bounce, and if it does you could slap it away, contrary to international Beer Pong rules which use the exact opposite. To the tolerance of Captain Dribble in order to keep the peace a truce was called, although it was much like the American’s claiming their own version of Football. Ten cups poured from 4 cans of Pride of the South, although measurement and depth perception lead to the Midfielders overestimating as usual and having to crack open a 5th to even the flow of amber fizz into the pyramid of cups. Anyways to the game, myself Captain dribble started with a rim beater, all the way in but out at the same time. Nic replied with sinking the first, closely followed by J.R.


The next throw saw Wilson and Dribble through in sync, with the later knocking the big fellas ball out of the stadium and nailing the first of the Midfielders side to even the score. Wilson, then went on a protest much like that of a baby throwing his toys out of the cot, and claiming that it was his ball that had gone in the hole. The game carried on in this fashion until the ultimate cup and with one left at each end, the defenders kept their cool under pressure with J.R slotted the winner.




A Japanese game show pre-recorded by My-Sky’s "Be in your happy place" saw the next round of drinking games taking place. There was cross dressing English schoolboys, lace ladies delivering cookies to the furrier of cookie monsters and Simon Cowell and a token blonde in interview scenarios made into a multi-choice scenario with the losers drinking. Quite brilliant.


Mark and Pearls night ended early with this weekends away Theme’ “We have only been twice before”… Ruby Room. Mark also provided the answer to the question, can Mark Anderson be separated from His I-Phone. The answer to the question was YES! Nothing else happened from here on.


Points to note


§            US play list.

§            Ribs,

§            Curly fries,

§            Chicken Drumsticks and Salad


Courtesy of Princess Harriet and MORE WILSONS (Yeah, great… just what the world needs, more…)


Well done, Nic. You certainly made the effort and should be congratulated for this. Welcome to the officials, may it be a long and enjoyable stay.



Event - Football Game Vs Trentham


Sunday football was on for the second week in a row. The Mighty Marauders were scheduled to take on Trentham united in the Upper Hutt local derby.


The event started in normal Fashion with Wilsons-Winge. This is a weekly event, and would rival some of the best and most eagerly anticipated reports including Fridges “my two-cents” and “Casey’s corner”, however, today’s lashings tended to show more than usual frustrations. Wilson as usual, was sorting out “fill-ins” as the excellent Manager he is when one of the UHC boys asked, do you have socks? “Bloody hell…” and this started the events. Tape? “O.M.G…”. Then J.R asked for the insulation tape as well. “For F… Sake! At least these boys are students, what’s your excuse…”. Hilarious to all in attendance. J.R sort it out, mate!!!


The usual banter and warm up concluded and kick off was made. Myself losing the toss and directions were changed. Would this be a good decision, only time would tell.  The introduction to Tin-tin’s mate Adam, a fellow G.P (judging by the Upper Stokes Valley “Town Tractor” that was being driven) meant that there was now 2 Nic’s and 3 Adams in the Marauders line up.

For the Purpose of this event’s report, and in order to avoid confusion, the following will be named accordingly:


Adam Wilson – Adam Sandler (Big Daddy)

Adam Frew : A.K..A Frew-Burger – Adam Lambert (Lambert)

Adam G.P : Adam West (Batman)

Nick Officer: Nick Lachey from the backstreet boys (Lockey)

Nic Hansen: Nicolas Cage (Caster “Troy”). Face-off!.




Play. Big Daddy to Lambert and back to Big Daddy. Through ball to myself. Bit of pressure. The first half, tended to be one of the Marauders better ones, with flowing football, timed runs and clinical play for the majority of the opening play. A Cam Smith throw-in saw a Fabio flick into the right edge of the box on the right hand side with myself beating the man, making the run toward goal and with two options in the centre. The rushing defence and the keeper were caught off guard with a tight-angled low driven shot beating the keeper at the near post. One Zip after ten.


Ten minutes later Tin-tin made a run down the left, squared the ball to Lambert who then won a corner. Cam Smith swung it in with the right foot and the keeper and myself went up for the challenge 2 yards out. It was a high ball and my leap was timed well. The keeper couldn’t hang on and bounced off myself and through his hands and across the line to double the lead. 20 gone, two nil.


With Batman and Big Daddy in the centre, we were quick to clean up and loose ball in the middle of the park, and the defence did a sound job at stopping any real threat in the opening half. Troy and Lockey cleaned up any through ball and J.R took out any runs down the Trentham L.H.S. A Tin-tin inside ball to Big Daddy was passed chest height to myself who put a lob through ball into the path of Lambert who did well to beat the challenging keeper and chip it into the back of the net. Finish of the match! (so far). Three – plays – none after the half hour mark.


A Trentham corner resulting in the Marauders being tested for the first time in the match. A scrambled ball found its way onto a Trentham head 3 yards from goal and was slotted in to make it One for the home side. Big Daddy was heard quoting “they will probably score from this” looking at Josh Aldrich the Marauders Goal Keeper and potential Phoenix member in the future. An event, which F.I.F.A is looking into over alleged Match-Fixing. Big Daddy has been involved in Fixing games in the past, in particular during his stint as a Pro Footballer in the “Longest Yard”.


3-1 at the half.


The second half saw Fong and Josh Moore battling it out with a fellow 1st XI footballer Clayton, a battle that was well fought by all involved. The Marauders looked to extend the lead on a few occasions but failed to do so. A nice cross from J.R was one opportunity gone begging. A number of off-sides were called. Big Daddy and myself being guilty on 2 occasions each. One was only about 8m off but a harsh call none the less. The last play saw Josh Aldrich left alone at the back and resulted in a through ball up the centre being finished off to make it 3-2.


Goodbyes were said and hands were shook. Members were told they would be required at the Cross. However, numbers began to fall away with excuses coming out like Dougie-Houser at a sausage sizzle. Myself, leaving the Marauders for the remainder of the 2011 season as the highest ranked player as in accordance to Statsnet.



Event – Southern Cross

Part 3 (the decider) of the trilogy took place at 4pm at the largely associated Southern Cross bar. Four Marauders were in attendance on this occasion. Adam Wilson, “newbie” Cam Smith, “young pup” Josh Aldrich and myself (as well as a few extras from behind the scenes).


Nibbles, Emerson’s Pilsner and Macs gold was shared in astounding fashion and events lead on well into the evening. Amongst the entertainment saw both Jinga and Connect-Four being played. Both in the form of the Humungatron. Cam Smith undoubtedly won giant Connect Four, with both Aldrich and myself claiming 2nd equal. Wilson was beaten in 3 moves and was a regular at pulling the pin rather than facing the shame of an official loss (go figure).


During the Giant Jinga form, however, Cam was unable to claim dominance and ultimately fell to the pressure of “loser buys the last round call”. Quite to the relief of myself who was next. The game, however, lasted a good 45 minutes plus stoppages and injury time and saw the tower grow to almost 2 Meter-Peter.


Excellent times and a fantastic way to end the legacy (for now at least).




M.O.T.M: Dribble (2 goals and 1 assist, bringing the total from 36 games up to 30 goals and 22 Assists, second overall in both categories to Mark Anderson and Adam Wilson respectively).


Thanks lads for all the memories and the good times. May the traditions of the Mighty Marauders live long and prosper. 



§            Every member of the Marauders apart from Adam Wilson for non-attendance at one of more of the Weekend Events.


Exempt due to good behaviour and contributions:


§            Nic Hansen: For all the effort of the function on Friday.

§            Cam Smith: Making a night of it at the Cross, being generous with the drinks and nibbles and resulting in leaving the car in town to be picked up the next morning.





The Marauders Football Club
New Zealand

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