The day in the life of a Marauder
7:50am Stumble out of bed, walk down the hall, reach the bathroom, aim
for the bowl, forget to lift the lid, shake it off, look in the mirror
and looking back is a confused unshaven mid twenties male wondering if
today his scheduled football match is going to go ahead. Back to bed.
8:30am Wake up again. Still wondering if football is a goer. Realise
its still early and am still not feeling flash after last night,
thinks about getting up, decide not to and tries to sleep off the
effects of the last 12 hours.
9:22am Hear phone go off. I decide its too much effort to check, doze
off again instead.
10:05am hear phone go off, bit more enthused to check it this time, as
it may well be an indication of a need to get out of bed today.
Rightly so it is …. “Football still on ladies and gents” . A sligh
smile is quickly overturned by the sudden rumble of a queasy stomach.
2nd message …“any chance of a ride today as soph needs the car”.
10:07am Look at self in basin mirror after contemplating a chunder,
think about getting more much needed recovery sleep. Go back to bed,
lay in recovery position. Set alarm for 11:30am.
11:08am I drag myself out of bed. Go to the kitchen looking for food,
realise we are all out of bred, bananas, milk and juice. Go back to
bed. Text Fold “not really in a state to operate a motor vehicle”.
11:15am call Fold, “Hey bro hows things?” … “good bruv, you?”… “Been
better”… “Good night?””think so, can you get dropped off at mine, then
drive my car out?” .. “Ha, yeah what time?”… “… um, not too early
(looking at the clock) .. Maybe ten too?”... “Sweet”. “Sweet”.
11:16 am Recovery position.
11:45am: stumble out of bed for the last time. Throw together my
stuff, wait for the knock at the door in the recovery position…. WAIT
12:00pm. Think where the f*ck is Fold.
12:02pm Call Fold, tell him ill meet him road side.
12:05pm Get in car, drive toward Hutt. “JOKER AND THE THIEF” (THEMESONG).
12:10pm Get on the motor way, exchange chat about the early moments of
the later part of our weekend as it stands, commenting if football is
actually going to be played as we are almost wiped out by the surface
flooding on the motor way, we are only 5 minutes into the 35minute
drive, visibility poor, motivation poor, confidence medium, dedication
12:35pm Get off at Silverstreem, pull in to McD’s. Drive through
breakfast. FIFA official approved sponsor.
12:45pm Pull up to Awakurangi Park, comment on how we have only like
ten minutes to warm up, acknowledge our team mates warming up on a
stream-logged football pitch. It was time to suck it up and get on
with the task of captaining a team in a top of the table clash.
Motivated by the fact I didn’t want to be the first captain to lose a
12:55pm: Run on to the pitch, lost my number 10 jersey to another
member of the team due to my later arrival time. Take a look around,
soak in the situation, Shake Case and Nico’s hands and welcome the new
members to the team. Chat with Wils about positions, come up with
starting 11. No time for Motivation, think just get out there and get
STARTING LINE UP
Bolts in goal, across the back from left to right, Nico, Shirley,
Dumpster, Davey. Through the centre of the park we went with Case,
Wilson, Dribble and Jon and up front we had Fold partnered by "the
prodogy" Jason Van Der Vegt. On the sideline we had Folds ring in
1:00pm. Kick off… My 1st pass gets caught up in the surface flooding,
Dig it out and try again. Aim to get everyone involved early, get into
the rhythm, start playing some good enjoyable football the conditions
definitely meant we all had to reduce our speed.
1:10pm. Marauders are starting to dominate, three or four passes into
a sequence, 2nd phase ball from our Midfield finds a striker making a
vertical run into the oppositions area, a firm pass holds up nicely
for Fold on his RHS which he gathers in his stride having too much
pace for the RCB takes it toward the goal and lays a well timed square
ball to a younger/fitter version of myself who calmly slots it in to
make it one up to the defending league champions in this, the top of
the table clash.
1:22pm. Throw in.
1:23pm. Make a run into the box, get the throw at my feet and find
myself controlling the ball and turning into open space, look up, far
post!, I look to square a ball for a team mate making a late run down
the opposite flank, Not enough juice, the ball holds up, Determined to
get there John slides in and manages to get there just before the
covering keeper who attempts to swoop across and put a stop to the
Marauders doubling the talley. Two zip.
12:27 again find myself controlling a throw in sloppy conditions,
turning and finding more space, attack the space from the right this
time, run toward the goal, closer and closer, the goal opening up.
Saved. Look up and realise the unmarked youngster open in the middle
of the 6 yard. “good run… should have squared it”… Corner!
12:28 Goal Kick. F8CK !!!
12:30 defending, first time they threatened, find me back within the 6
yard just in case the opposition striker gets around our CB who looks
intent of getting the ball off the striker. He does, but collects the
man in the process, a small tussle brakes out. Wilson steps in and
tells both players to pull their head in. Apologies are made as well
as suggestions to go for the ball sets off a nerve/hormone driven
retaliation from Dumpster who is clearly letting the emotions get the
better of him.
12:33. Take the Mickey out of their CM and go for a run, nutmeg, on
the attack, through ball holds up, slosh fest, 2nd phase go back and
get the ball from the troff, in the process my opposite lines up a
challenge in which I aim to get out of the way, all to no prevail.
Free Kick. On the deck, Hurley lets out a “That is the worst challenge
I have ever seen!”… Yellow card result. I manage to get to my feet,
clutching ankle, apart from pins and needles and hole in my sock from
the opposites sprig marks. I am mostly fine (confidence is still
12:35 Fold lines up the Free Kick in range. Hits it low, holds up and
keeper is mostly unchallenged.
12:40: I sub off, Boltron gives us a wave from the goal box, makes a
comment about my lack of fitness. Laugh, thinking to myself looking
forward to the day off tomorrow, wet, damp, cold, reach for a jacket
on the sideline. Half time rolls around. Few words said.
12:55. Second half starts similar to first, we intercept the play from
the kick off, I try and play a vertical ball up the middle to the
young prodigy, I fail, thinking not to make the same mistake again.
Hold position, we regain position, ball tends to hold up more this
half, rain level is moderate, confidence is low, motivation is
average. Get back in the game. Play a few balls square to lower water
levels of the pitch, another factor that tends to level out this game.
1:00pm Trentham make a break, a cross from the right narrowly misses
our far post, Bolts smiles “had it covered”… an idea for a tui
billboard comes to mind.
1:15pm our backs play a ball back to bolts which hold up giving
Trentham their second chance of the game. Thus resulting in a Trentham
free kick, that was lucky not to give away a penalty. The opposite
player lines it up almost in slow motion you can see him jog in, the
flight of the ball heads toward our back stick. Goal kick, THANK GOD.
1:25pm we create good an opportunity down the left through Matt the
Folds filler. Left footed from ten yards to make it three zip. Now we
can start to relax, I think to myself hopefully the flood gates open.
They don’t! The heavens do however.
1:27 Wilson joins fold up front, attempts a flick on, hits the top of
his melon and goes out for a goal kick. That wasn’t meant to go there
was it? My thoughts were to say something but a few others reminded
the striker that we were attacking rather than defending.
1:30 Ando and Case make a play down the right, fold lays in a ball,
Wilson has an opportunity to ping it with his right, fakes, dribbles,
fakes dribbles now he must be able to ping it. Dribbles again and it
opens up like the parting sea. In the end the keeper gathers the loose
ball. It turns out it wasn’t Wilsons day to score either.
1:40 a Wilson back heel gives me a chance to score, I should score
from here surely, corner, this wasn’t my day, their keeper is actually
pretty good. The next play sees Shirley collect a loose ball two yards
out and slots it after a scramble only for the referee to award in
favour of the Trentham defender who the big departing Marauder had
pushed off the ball. Mid celebration he turned around and let the
referee and everyone else know what he thought. It would have been a
good way to go out but no to be.
1:42 Full time. Shake hands, shower back at school, and depart to the
2pm Arrive at the post, Shirley puts on a few jugs and chips. Captain
puts on wedges. Depart for drier pastures along a long and
water-ridden state highway back to the bright lights. Good game. Happy
with end result, will definitely look to add to goal talley next time.
Mark for prioritising a WAG Do (any enquiry made on his behalf?)
Case and Nico non-attendance at after match (this is the big time lads)
Fold (forgetting towell and leaving gruds in girls changers.
The Marauders Football Club